A
female
age
36-40,
*_c100
writes:I need lots of answers for this one please....I am 21 years old and I have met the man of my dreams. Only problem is that I made a mess of the relationship 3 years ago and while we still talk and care about each other, he cant decide whether he wants me back.We split up when I was 18 and he was 21, we were both so young and so in love but I ended it when I went away to university as I thought there was more out there. I quickly started seeing other guys but nothing serious, within a few weeks I realised I'd made a huge mistake. I'd left him heartbroken, to this day I still feel so guilty how much I hurt him.I have bounced from one relationship to another since my ex, all lasting around 1 year but then ending when I realise I dont love them anywhere near as much as I love my ex. I am currently in a relationship, where I have let myself be swept away in the moment and after 6 months we moved in together.I realise now that this was a huge mistake but due to financial reasons and rental contracts, I cant leave.I got back with my ex briefly last summer, we spent 2 months together where I was sublimely happy thinking that I had finally got him back. I was in another relationship but quickly ended it at my ex's request.He was unable to tell me he loved me, he couldnt really talk to me about how he was feeling and throughout the 2 months he always said he was confused and did not know what he wanted. Unsurprisingly we both decided to end it as it was going nowhere.We still talk fairly frequently, he even sent me a text after he had been out telling me that he loved me (it was a huge thing for him seen as he hates talking about how he feels) but we are still going round in circles. I would give up everything to be with him again as I know he is the love of my life and there is no-one else out there for me. Time has not healed, I've had some of the lovliest boyfriends you could ever hope for but I've never felt the same way for them as I do for him.The problem is he is still unsure whether he really wants to give us atother chance. While I see it as you have to give things a proper chance before you can get closure, he is still feels hurt by what I did and cant get past it, even if he still loves me. He has told me he still thinks of me as "his" and he definately hasnt moved on, yet he doesnt want me back either.People have told me just to move on and forget but thats not an option, three years have passed and every time he texts or I see a photo of him my heart skips a beat, I get butterflies just thinking about him. If that isnt true love then I dont know what is.What do I do? Do I continue hoping that we will get back together? Do I leave my current relationship, spend some time on my own whilst secretly hoping I will win him back one day? Or do I just give up now and resign myself to the fact that if there ever was 'The One' out there for me I have lost him?
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female
reader, lacexoxo22  +, writes (13 January 2009):
 I agree. Explain to him that it was a long time ago (what 3 yeas ago) you were a different person then, you thought you needed and wanted something else but that you needed the chance to realize that what you truly needed was him. Get really serious and deep in conversation with him, if possible. Hold nothing back, tell him everything you think, fear, hope and feel. There may be a chance that nothing is going to work, he just may want nothing at all to do with you, but if there is a very small chance he's still interested but afraid..talking to him and expressing EVERYTHING, may hopefully reassure him and ease his fear. If not sweety, there's nothing else you can do but move on. Good luck hope this helps.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 January 2009):
 If I were you I'd have just one more long talk with him. Let him know that you really are having a hard time being stuck in limbo. He needs to decide whether or not there is a future for you two. If he gives you a negative answer or if he still can't make up his mind, then I guess you have no other choice but to move on with your life. You can't wait around forever.
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A
female
reader, sheribaby38 +, writes (13 January 2009):
 well i would say that you cannot make him love you back the way you love him. maybe if you are out of a relationship for awhile he will see that your happiness is not based on rather or not you have a man in your life. you guys can be friends and all that good stuff. you have already tried living together and the whole nessting thing and it didnt work out. you do have history with him but give him space and maybe eventualy he will come back to you.it sounds like he had trust issues with you so give yourself a break from relationships and concentrate on yourself and i think maybe you have a chance with him since he calls you "his" good luck
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