A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years. He is five years older, extremely intelligent, motivated, and mature, and also an artist like me. He is my first relationship, and thus far it has been a very stable one. We talk our misunderstandings out, try our best to laugh, and are fairly relaxed. All his good traits outweigh the bad. He carves time out his schedule to see me, pays for many of our dates (we spend money on each other), and happily helps me with things like moving or having a show hung. I am 22, and ready to move forward in love for all the people in my life, but especially for him. His actions shows he cares, but here's the issue though: he rarely communicates on an emotional level. He will tell me I'm pretty or silly, but never touches on his feelings for me. This being the case, I have become paranoid that I am being strung along as a "bed buddy" as opposed to being approached as a best friend and partner in love. Also, he is very literal conversationalist. I am very abstract. There are plenty of times when we look at each other confused because he expresses a need to share names, dates, and numbers, and I just want to talk about how things make me feel. Many times he will point out to me how "weird" I am or note that I don't make sense. It becomes annoying, and it kills the conversation. So how does he really feel about me?Maybe this is just the way men are? I have talked with him about it already. He said," Haven't I already told you I loved you?" and "I like being with you because you are someone I can be intimate with and tender to". He said also that he doesn’t like to throw the word "love" around, and that he was raised in a household where the word wasn't used much, but was rather assumed. But I hunger for the love my parents have for each other with him. I am part of a family that constantly verbally and physically confirms love. My parents are as in love with each other as ever, and even though they get miffed from time to time, they always kiss and make up. They miss each other when apart to the point where one cannot fall asleep without the other. They banter lovingly non-stop. They tell me in private how much they love the other. I look to the kind of love my parents have for each other as the love I desire to have. It's strange too... my mom and dad have different interests and are fairly different people (like me and my boyfriend) but have a solid friendship and understanding that love is core to a relationship.So, I'm at a crossroads. I have an amazing guy in all other aspects. The frustration has overwhelmed me, and it doesn’t help that I hate confrontation. Should I pack up my things from his apartment and ask him if we can have time apart? (We don't live together) I figure if his feelings for me are deep, he will try to hold onto me and tell me something more descriptive than the trite "I love you" to hold my attention. I want his heart, and I would hope he wants mine.
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female
reader, foxy7727 +, writes (3 May 2010):
 you have his heart he has told u this and i think if u move your stuff out and ask for time apart it would only seperate u 2 and make him more distant then he already is i think u guys seem to be doing good and maybe he is giving u all he has already and ur asking to much of him he loves u theres not much more i would ask for
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