A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok the thing is that this whole dating thing is all new to me. I was with my ex since I was 19,broke up when I was 25 I'm 27 now and I've been single for 2 years and I've been pretty much scared to date.. I tried going out with this guy like months after me and my bf broke up but he turned out to be exactly like my ex so yeah I've had bad experience and well since then I haven't gone out dated. Or anything.. But I've recently got in contact with an old friend I've had a crush on and has asked me out.. We hung out couple of time but it feels weird and everytime he calls me or txts me to go out I say yes and I don't want to seem desperate it will be months that we stop talking and when we do talk and he asks me out I say yes.. So it has been 5 months that I've talked to him and now today he txt me how I've been.. And that he's been waiting for me to fit him in my busy schedule but that's bull.. So he then later says if we can hang out tonight again I say yes I set up a time and he says ok.. Then I txt him I'm gonna run late he never txt me back.. I txt him asking if he's still up for tonight and he didn't respond.. now I feel like an idiot saying yes to him everytime he wants to hang out.. so if he would ever txts me again should I try to play hard to get.. Was he testing me to see if he if I was gonna say yes like I always do.. I mean I like the guy I've had since were young.. So I honestly don't know how to date again.. I don't want to seem desperate.. I don't call him so he won't think I am. I just don't know what to do.. This is all new to me please can someone please give me some advise thanks so much for taking the time to read and the advice.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2011): Hi I'm the person who asked the questin.. all of these are great advise thanks so much.. I'm gonna go buy the book u have suggested thanks again.Umm I would also like to add when we hang out we have of fun.I mean we hang out like go for coffee, go for drinks, dinner and movie or just go to a park and talk.. He tells me he likes me but he feels I'm not interested because I put up a wall, he can't tell if I like him or not. I try to let my guard down just a little I try to be myself around him but I'm shy, and I feel like he's hidding something but I don't know what.. I ask him tons of questions and he answers,but its hard to believe what he says at times.. And no I'm no booty call we haven't had sex or anything. I'm not that kind of a girl.I've decided to wait til I find the right guy that can bring down the wall I have up.. I'm not a virgin its just that I'm not that kind of girl that sleeps around and be used for sex, because that's how I felt when I was with my ex.. I want to be with someone that is gonna love me be with me for me.. .. But thanks everyone for taking the time to read and give such great advise =)
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (30 December 2011):
 Hey!
I think its possible you have some unresolved relationship issues from your previous experiences. This is quite normal. However, if these issues are not addressed you will carry the issues into your next relationship, causing both parties to have an unfair start to everything. Ill advise you start with these issues resolved or it could be long term detriment towards any future relationship you may have. There are books that talk about this and can help you sort out and there is also counseling that i know for a fact has helped immensely for some. Good luck doll.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2011): Hanging out once every few months is not dating. This guy is using you as a backup for when he has nothing else going on, or as a booty call if you're having sex with him. Forget about him, he's not interested. If he were truly interested he would be contacting you WAY more frequently. He's a player.
What you should do is "put yourself out there". Have you considered online dating? Also, it is OK for a woman to approach a man, particularly if guys aren't asking for your number very often. The key is that if you make the initial approach then you have to let the guy prove he's genuinely interested. There are lots of guys out there who will accept easy sex from an obviously interested girl, and have no real interest in her.
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A
female
reader, VioletSparkle  +, writes (30 December 2011):
Why Men Love bitches is a delightful book, I can't help but recommend it too :) and possibly the Rules? old fashioned, but strong advice about self respect, like the grandmother I never had
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 December 2011):
 Rule #1 never say YES at the last minute… that’s a booty call IMO… he needs to ask at least a few days in advance…
Rule #2 for me is you do not conduct a relationship via text. YOU want to ask me out PICK UP THE PHONE and CALL ME.
Pick up a copy of the book “why men love Bitches” some of it is tongue in cheek but basically it will teach you how to respect yourself and demand the same respect from any man you date and once you do that you will know what is acceptable behavior.
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