A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So I have been hanging out with this guy for over four months now. We have had sexual intercourse four times and I have never had an orgasm with him yet. He said something the second time and was like 1. you're nervous cause I just got out of a relationship 2. because we work together and it's awkward and 3. because I don't like him. I think its because I just got out of a nine year relationship so its different being with someone new! I really do like him and I don't want him to feel bad for me not getting off, does anyone have any suggestions as to make things go a little smoother the next time we are together??
View related questions:
orgasm Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2011): I met this new girl after being with a girl who could have multiple orgasms so easily just be stimulating herself while we had sex - it kind of made a lazy lover because I never had to work hard to achieve orgasm with a girl. So the new girl is totally different - she only can cum using oral sex and it sometimes takes upto 30 minutes for her to cum. She seems to have one big ramp up to orgasm then if you try again after the first one she is not interested. So you just need to reassure your man that you need more practise - lots of practise which you would both love to do and also give him some helpful pointers as to what has worked in the past - let him try oral on you or watching you masturbate to orgasm - gives him the general motions and how fast and strong you like it to make you cum.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2011): He takes your pleasure seriously, which is nice.
But, you should remind him, that you could be faking orgasms instead of being honest. He should at least be grateful for that.
Acheiving orgasm is not indicative of who women truly like or not, it is indicative of how comfortable and at ease women are during the act.
As for convincing him not to take your lack of orgasm personally, I only wish I could back you up.
Advice:
1) Perhaps agree with him, and tell him his reasons 1 & 2 are the answer. Reassure him that 3 is not.
2) Come on to him and initiate sex more often. That way he knows you are interested.
3) Tell him to stop taking it so personally, psychoanalyzing you, and pointing it out because it only stresses you out more and makes it harder to achieve orgasm.
You make be suffering from "stage fright" just because he keeps harping on you. He may be so worried about his performance, it's getting in the way of yours.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, feelingsputtogether +, writes (28 January 2011):
 I'm sure you already know this but not every woman will experience an orgasm. But if you want to you can try a various of things. When you feel "good" when he does a certain thing to you let him know. Also self satisfaction this way you can teach him how to get you to the climax of the act. Assure him that he has nothing to worry about, explain to him that it's different for a woman to get to that point. While in the act you can stimulate your clitoris. That works wonders. And if he finishes before you do, tell him to stimulate your clitoris while kissing and giving you the time to enjoy it that will help you get to your climax. How I know this...I read about it and put it into practice. Have fun!!
...............................
|
