A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm with my partner 8 years,its been very rocky at times,he's cheated and lied over the years and its been very volatile,I love him and care for him,but I'm nor in love with or really have sex anymore,over the past 7 weeks I've been chatting to an old work mate and met up recently for a drink,we have loads in common and are so a like,he's all I think about and the same on his end,I see myself settling with him,could fall this deeply in 7 weeks? We chat everyday,I haven't the guts to leave my partner of the simple fact I feel guilty even though I don't want to be with him anymore,I want to see how things would go with my new interest,I'm so all over the place and confused Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2011): I would say that it is fair to first get clear with the current boyfriend - do you want to stay with him or not. Is it possible to improve it whatever there was wrong?
My personal belief is that we don't put enough effort to live the real life but search for some perfect situation, perfect lover, perfect this or that. And the life just passes by and we don't really live it and learn from it. If you are running away from something, it will catch up on you somewhere else again, at least that is my experience. New people and new situations are always more interesting, but we will bring our own issues wherever we go and new things will become old things eventually. On the other side, if it is really clear that two of you are not able to have a proper relationship, maybe it is time to move on.
Once situation with this guy is clear it is OK to move on and see if this new relationship is the real one. I would personally consider this being fair to all three of you. Mixing the two together can make harm and suffering to all of you.
I don't know is this in any way relevant to your situation as you didn't provide much information, but just got the inspiration to write this. Hope it helps.
A
female
reader, a_maldita  +, writes (9 August 2011):
 Leave if you can before it's too late...
It happened to me too I wasn't happy in a relationship before but I wanted it to work so bad that in the end I messed it up...
I finally let go of the person then now I'm slowly adjusting and trying to meet new friends...
I'm better off without him but at times I really do remember the times that we are together..
Find the courage in your heart to break it off to find your true happiness.
I hope this helps...
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