A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,A few days ago, my crush (whom I have been deeply in love with for the past two years...no, not just puppy love...I felt for him like I've never felt for anyone else in my entire life) was basically forced against his will to move to a town down by the coast (his mom got a new job). One of my really close friends (who is also his ex-girlfriend and, to this day, crush) told me the news, and naturally, I cried.Well, a few days before he left, he was sitting at my lunch table next to the other girl, and I was sitting across the table from them writing a poem to him (it was just my way of telling him some things that I've been wanting to tell him for the past two years. Kind of lame and nerdy, but still...it was better than telling him to his face). He asked me if he could read it and I said no because it wasn't done. Well, he kept bugging me, and I kept telling him that he could read it when it was done. Well, shortly after that, I finished it and gave it to the girl to give to him. When one of my other girl friends asked him if he'd read it a few days later, he said that he hadn't yet. That's the last I heard about it.Now, I'm kind of thinking that he HAS read it...because whenever I try to talk to him online, he doesn't say anything. That's exactly what happens when he gets mad at me...he stops talking to me. Do you think he's mad at me now? And if he is, what could I say to make it right? Any help is GREATLY appreciated.Sincerely,Jaded Over Joshie
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2007): Of course he has read it. He read it right away. He is avioding you because you have made him uncomfortable by 'telling some things you have been wanting to tell him'. I know you are very young by your post. In the future you might want to consider a more subtle approach to seeing if a guy might feel the same way as you do. Something like, have you seen that new movie _______? I really want to see it, but no one I know wants to go. He'll pick it up from there if he is interested. Basically, your approach did not leave him or you a graceful way out if there was no meeting of the minds/feelings.
A
female
reader, maruechant  +, writes (16 March 2007):
 He is definitely not angry because you havent been doing anything that would make him feel that way. He might not be talking to you because of the poem, your profession of love, which he just read and definitely understood. I am not saying that it's your fault but the thing is, it could be that your crush is overwhelmed with what you've written and flattered of the things the poem revealed, your true feelings for two years. And some boys, do respond that way if they become shy or have the question of "What shall i do with her feelings for me?" They do sometimes hide, not knowing what to do. Now, since he has not been talking about how he feels, let us just say that you give him time for him to absorb everything since maybe he is still confused as of this moment. If he gets online or offline is fine, try to leave a message like this: "You know, I dont know if you're angry with me or what 'coz I havent been receiving any messages from you lately. I just hope that you are doing good everyday. Is it about the poem? OR Is there anything else I need to know? If it's 'bout the poem, well, I wonder what youve felt after reading it (you asked me to show it to you right? And I just did what I promised) but if it makes you feel weird or something, I just hope it will not ruin our friendship and can still be good friends. Hope you'll get in touch with me sooner." Girl, try not to send private messages other than that because he might need more space to think it over. Let him do the next set of the talking since youve already given him your side.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2007): Hun, I am sorry for your sadness. It might be best to ask your girlfriend if she even gave the poem to him, first. If she did, then we know he read it. One of the best things about caring for someone is being upfront and honest. I think you need to come right out and ask him if he read your poem. I am assuming you did not date this fellow, just that you had a long-standing crush n him? If so, you could write him a nice note and start it by saying something like,
"So-and-so (his name), How are you doing. Just wondering if you read my poem? Haven't heard any response from you so it has me wondering. I want you to know, I wrote that poem to express to you how I feel about our friendship. It has meant a lot to me. I do realize that you are moving away but I hope, you do not forget about the great friends you have here in "such and such a place" (your town)."
After writing this, you could just go and talk about fun things like friends do. Don't make it long, mushy and romantic. But remember, he may not be mad. He could be feeling a bit embarrassed and not knowing 'exactly' what to say. Especially if he didn't know you felt this way. Teen boys are fickle. They have a hard time expressing themselves in a sentimental manner. Not far beneath their male bravado, is an unsure guy who finds it hard to express his emotions that are often sincerely felt. Also try to understand, teen girls like yourself, are so much better prepared for dating relationships because of more experience they have, with intimate communication they express and share with good friends. So please, don't think he's mad. He really has no reason to be mad, does he, dear? How can you be mad at someone who has given you a lovely poem, expressing her thoughts and heartfelt feelings? If he is mad...then his reaction does say a lot about his compassion, or lack of it and his maturity. If you get no answer back from him, drop this and try hard to move on. You gave it your best shot..you did something caring and sometimes people don't always respond to things like this. Just keep being you and as I said before, there is nothing wrong with expressing thoughts and feelings. Just be careful whom you do that with. Not everyone has the big heart and sensitivity you have.
Good luck, hun and take care.
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A
female
reader, baby blue fairy  +, writes (16 March 2007):
hey maybe hes just surprised he may not of thought you felt so deeply about him and after reading that he started to fel insecure (as boys lyke to be the ones in control!) but dont let it bother yoo so much youve made it clear how you feel its up 2 him now and if its not meant to be then its not meant to be, sowwi this is not so good 2 hear i no how you feel but in time you get ova it! go out there wif ya m8s shoppin or sommit it makes yoo feel soo much better! give him time and when you feel its the right time make him feel more incontrol again lol but dnt bring it up everytime you speak to him try changin the subject bytalkin bout how hes getting in like as your m8s carry this on and he will confied in yoo as a m8 nd the l8er on somethin more (mayb one day!!) best of luck (tell me how it goes!!!) xxxx
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A
female
reader, K3rry +, writes (16 March 2007):
all i can say that if this boy can't talk to you any more then i think that it is something that he is hidding. its not you. Try not trying to talk to him he is enjoying the e=attention he is liking you chasing after him. don't he will get over it and when he realise that you are no longer there to talk to him he will want you and believe me he will talk to you. He will be begging you to talk to him. Don't get down about it just remember you are not in the wrong
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