A
male
age
36-40,
*ameleon89
writes:Dear cupid, as i wrote you i had a gf, and we are practically 3 years years together. The past 4 months she lives in other city because of studies. Tomorrow one of my ex comes to my house, and i know we will have sex. But i'm worried about cheating on my gf cause i love her enormously, she told me she wants a family with me. But the problem is i didn't have sex for 4 months, and i love sex. Please, she comes tomorrow, can't sleep and and talk to nobody. thank you...
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male
reader, hameleon89 +, writes (12 February 2010):
hameleon89 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well dear readers, i know i'm a idiot that i thaught about it.I didn't see my ex, and everything went well.In the past i was manipulated by my ex,she is very beautifull and i was like a puppy dog for her.Thanks for your advices and good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010): Can you organise to meet your ex somewhere instead of having her come to your house? If you are in a public place then it will be harder to give in to the temptation. Tell her something like there are builders coming to fix something, or maybe even something like there is a problem with the drains and the house smells bad, I don't know, be creative.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010): Don't invite her to the house. Or if you have to, invite another girl, or a boy or any friend you can trust or just a neighbour.
I have fended off advances this way when I felt that I had got into a strange situation. My friend wouldn't leave and the guy who would have definitely made a pass had we been alone, finally got tired and left.
Its good to acknowledge your weakness... this is one way to sort it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010): Why invite your ex over? Do you want us to say - thats ok just sleep with your ex and forget your loving girlfriend. You have a choice - its about being grown up enough and loyal enough to be faithful.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010): Sounds to me you created the problem, and want to be out of control.
If you don't want to cheat on your girlfriend, you would have never manipulated the variables to place yourself in a situation beyond your control. So, you actually do want to cheat on your girlfriend, you just don't want to be the cheater.
Do your girlfriend a favor and let her go. It's unfair to posture as honest or loyal; it hurts you both.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010): I couldn't agree more with Lexie.
If you truly love and care for you girlfriend, don't do this to her.
She hasn't had sex for 4 months too. She's going through the same thing you are. How would you feel if she were to have sex with someone else just because she felt the "need" to?
If you love her as you say, you'll reconsider. Sex and love are two very different things.
Try thinking with the head upstairs, not downstairs.
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A
male
reader, hameleon89 +, writes (11 February 2010):
hameleon89 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm sorry lexie88, but i do feel sorry, maybe i wrote not so tragic.What i ment is tha ti know my ex, of what is she capable of.I admit that i thaught bad things.normally i'm a strong person,but not when it comes to to sex.I never cheated on my Gf and past once.I think i will take the best choice,thanks.I know i'm doing a bad thing that i thaught about it, and will fight with it.That's why i wrote this problem here, because i can't tell this to somebody else.Everybody has their problems and weak spots.the important is to admit your bad things.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (11 February 2010):
 You 'know' you will have sex...you're already on the path to cheating on your girlfriend, and you don't sound that remorseful.
So what if you haven't had sex in 4 months? Is this need for sex more important than a 3 year relationship and a future with the woman you apparently 'love' enormously?
If you really did love and respect her, you wouldn't even be thinking about having sex with another woman. I doubt that you love her as you say. It seems that your 'needs' are more important than her, and that is not love.
I feel sorry for your girlfriend who is in another town thinking you're being faithful to her...and there you are thinking of sleeping with someone else because you love sex.
We all get tempted, there's nothing wrong with that, but what makes you a real man is your ability to stay away from that temptation and respect your girlfriend.
I hope you think more about this. If you do cheat, you will do it again. Don't cause her that kind of pain. If you want to have regular sex and your girlfriend isn't there for that, reconsider your priorities in life and your relationship with her. She doesn't deserve to be cheated on.
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