A
male
age
36-40,
*n-need-of
writes:ok my life is one big mess im hurting so bad inside it killing my emotions. i cant have a relationship cuz i blow it everytime. my self-esteem and self confedence is so low and i dont know what to say or do while talking with a gurl. i always get to emotionally attached to fast with wemon a nd they seem to see that as a weakness and run all over me a nd teat my soul apart. i have tried not to get to attached but it never works. i have been hurt so many times it feels like there is a thousand pains im my heart that tears it to shredds. i havent had a relationship in 5 years now and masterbating just aint pleasurable anymore i long for a womans touch. a womans pleasures and im not talking about sex this time. i long for there pleasures of embrase. im kind hearted and a sweet heart to the core im always thinking about the one im with never my self. i treat them with the up most care and respect but i always get tore apart in the end it never fails no matter who im with. so i bag of any one who can help me i desperatly need some trusting advice. help me please.
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female
reader, didda123  +, writes (24 January 2009):
 I think it is you that you need to concentrate on at present.
Do you have a group of friends that you can hang out with involve yourself with them, really throw yourself into your social life, this in itself will help your self worth you will learn that your friends do actually value you.
Why not join a gym this will help you not only improve your physical self which will help increase your self esteem but will also get you mixing with new people and by doing so getting yourself noticed so that next time you are out people may approach you and say they have seen you at the gym which will open up a conversation.
Once you are feeling a bit more confident in yourself start up the dating again but i wouldn't put all your eggs in one basket, keep your dating as just that maybe date a few different girls there is nothing wrong with that on a friendly level and maybe one of them you will decide to take the relationship onto the next level. By dating a few girls at the same time you will be less likely to throw yourself whole heartedly into the relationship and can keep a check on your emotions.
You seem like a really sensitive and loving kind of guy and i am sure that the girl who eventually gets you will be treat like a princess.
I really do wish you well and hope that you can overcome this pain you are going through. You need the help of friends and family during this time but i am sure that before long this will all be a distant memory as you are still young and this is the age when your friends are probably getting into serious relationships and you are feeling a bit left out but please don't worry so much.
Good luck x
A
female
reader, lovesalias +, writes (24 January 2009):
 I feel for you. I understand that you are an emotional person and very passionate about love and anything to do with respecting and cherishing a woman who is of interest to you. I want to start off by asking you if you have done any astrological research or numerology. This will help you to understand the characterists of those under your sun sign and possibly help you to understand yourself. Secondly, It is o.k. to take care of someone else but not to the point where you neglect yourself and hold yourself below them. You need to be a confident man with goals and ambition in life. You need to be a strong man who respects himself. Sweetie....you can't offer your love to anyone unless you first love yourself. People come into your life for many reasons, seasons, and lessons. You need to figure out what happend in the past and what was the purpose and lesson of those relationships and learn from it. Those experiences are supposed to help you become a stronger person and help you to understand what it is you are looking for in a relationship. First and Foremost, Love yourself, respect yourself. I am sure you are a good-looking, fun-loving, intellegent man that any woman would be lucky to have. Perhaps it is just that you did not have the right woman. Heed my advice and look into your astrology and numerology. Go to numerology.com to figure your chart it is free it just takes time but take the time you will benefit greatly from it. Women love men that exude confidence not cockyness but surity and confidence. Good Luck. I hope this helps!
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