A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hey, i was in a really close relationship that ended a year ago, but since then i just havent dated anyone. when i go out with friends i sometimes notice when a girl is interested but im so shy around girls i think they assume im not into them and walk away!! i think i still have feelings for my ex so im just not motivated to approach girls but i cant keep going like this. another problem i have is that i woul much rather get to know someone and have feelings for them, not picking up a different girl at clubs every week! any advice???? i should be enjoying being single but im not!! dont get me wrong im happy with myself and my life but romantically its pretty dull!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (19 November 2009):
 I know what you mean I think. I hate meeting guys at bars because it is a bad scene and you are looking for someone serious and another relationship, not a "hook up". I am the same way. I have been looking up different ways to meet people than just going to clubs. I researched speed dating, dating sites online, match makers... Not that any of those have to work for you, just examples of how much is out there outside of just the bar scene. You can meet girls anywhere. At the mall, book store, movies... But just be confident and put yourself out there. I am trying to have the mindset that I will have fun, not sleep around and have a different person every week, but go on different dates and don't expect too much. That way you can't be let down but so much and you can have some fun until you do meet the right person. And you will when it's time. So date, hang out, introduce yourself to girls, and get serious with the right one. Good luck and don't get discouraged. Sometimes it takes awhile.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): Mate, i feel the same, especially the part about not wanting to meet girls in clubs, bad environment, sometimes I can be shy around girls and other times I can talk for England, obvious advice but working out at the gym really works for my confidence and makes me happier in general, plus there's hot girls there ;). Girls can sense confidence and positivity, research the cocky and funny technique on how to have more success... worked for me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): Hun it is okay to not be in a relationship. I have not been in one for 4 years? Just take a little time by yourself, no need to rush into a relationship?
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