A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im currently in a relationship. I've been with my fiance for 8 years. Everything is great But he's not that adventurous in bed like I am. The sex has decreased since we had a child, not because we lost interest but because my son usually interrupts. My fiance and I communicate quite often but for some reason I feel that sometimes he doesnt take some things seriously. My ex and I have exchanged some emails. He's inviting me out to dinner, and even though I've been hessitant about us going out before, now I am certain that I want to see him and get intimate with him at least once. I havent cheated before but I want to be with a different man. I even find myself lusting over the Ups man and a guy at the Gym. I feel Im out of control! What should I do??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): Are you sure your relationship with your fiance is "great"?It seems strange to me that you would have this strong urge to sleep with other men, if your relationship with your fiance really is that "great"is it just hormones (if so can you just use your imagination when you're with your fiance). Or are you actually craving something more - the intimacy, the connection, that is just gone with your fiance.Maybe this is a sign that you are actually unhappy with your relationship, that's why you feel an urge to develop connections with other men. examine your relationship, and be honest and truthful about it. Better to break off an engagement than to get married and find out later when the symptoms are too strong to ignore anymore that oh crap that was a big mistake I shouldn't have married this person because I want to be with someone else.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 February 2011):
Decide whether your family means more than your libido. Remember that you only really get one chance at a family. After that, it basically becomes pick n'mix and you end up with step families (nothing wrong with that if things aren't working out - everything wrong with it if it's because of mistakes/cheating/selfishness). I don't think it's worth throwing your husband and son's happiness away just for the sake of a fling with some guy at a gym, or an ex (even worse). Your reputation will be finished, your son will one day find out and hate you, your husband will be able to blame you for every mistake in the marriage and you'll wind up miserable.
You are a mother and an engaged woman. If you are serious about offering your son the best chance at family life in a stable home, then go home to your fiance and tell him there are problems that must be solved because it is affecting you. If you cheat, those closest to you will not forget it, and they won't forgive it. Especially your son.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou guys are so right. I know from right and wrong but needed to hear someone else's opinion. I just wanted a one night stand, but I dont want to ruin what I have. It's definitely a selfish act from my part.
I will have another sit down with my Fiance and talk about some options in regards to sparking our sex life.
Thanks for the advice!
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (6 February 2011):
Are you willing to accept your husband go out and have sex with another girl? Be honest with your self and avoid cheating. You will ruin you marriage.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): It sounds as if you have just got a bit bored. But getting together with an ex is a bad idea. You may be opening a can of worms - you may find you have feelings for him or him you. Think carefully about going down that road. The thought may be exciting - but it could lead to heartache, and not be at all what you imagine at this moment.
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A
male
reader, rivi +, writes (6 February 2011):
Well if penis-in-vagina isn't doing it for you any more what exactly would you want your fiance' to do with you instead ?
How do you know he wouldn't be up for it if you haven't asked him ?
A lot of men harbour a desire to do anal but hold back from asking : would you be ok for that ?
And maybe he also would like a bit of variety and would agree to opening the relationship ?
Main point is you obviously have to discuss all this with him as if you don't you're just going to cheat on him anyway.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): You're bored and are looking for some excitement, don't cheat you will regret it,and stop emailing your ex. Work on your relationship with your fiance.
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