A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi im a 24 year old man who has trouble keeping an erection.i can usually stay erect for 15 minutes,after that it turns into a semi,another problem i have is i can't ejaculate during sex,i always start off with the first part of an orgasm and then it stops,i tend to lose my erection when i have condoms put on because they are too tight for me,i also lost my virginity only 3 months ago,and only have had sex 15 times with 11 different women.what do you think is wrong with me and how do you think my ejaculation and erection problems can be helped.
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condom, ejaculate, ejaculation, erection, lose my erection, lost my virginity, orgasm, too tight Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (26 May 2008):
 Well, it was sort of, ehem, clear, that you were sleeping with prostitutes. A young man who lost his virginity when he was 24 won't suddenly become the kind of man who can get 15 women to bed in three months. I didn't want to mention this, as it could have been sort of embarrassing. Sleeping with prostitutes won't help you. My guess is that part of your psychological concern is related to catching a disease. And then, you might also have trouble getting and keeping a girl.
I don't have anything in particular against prostitutes, but I need to recommend you stop sleeping with them. It won't help you with your problem, and you might end up getting a disease.
A
male
reader, PeterPan  +, writes (26 May 2008):
 Look -- if you've been carrying this depression for a while now, please speak with you GP. He might recommend that you seek a little psychological therapy to help clear that guilt and performance anxiety you're carrying around. Although I'm not one to tell others how they should run their lives, it just seems that sequestering yourself to the use of prostitution is not the path that you should take on for long-term relationship development. It may seem difficult to do, but I'd recommend that you find a therapist and open up to them.
Now that I think about it, there's probably value in seeking a session or two with a sex therapist. At the vary least, you might be able to address some of the issues you're dealing with regarding performance... best wishes -- you can do this... it's all for a better you... in other words, a little embarrassment now in front of a professional will lead to a more fulfilled you in the near future!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeah i think your both right i did masturbate almost everyday for about 12 years and i only lost my virginity 3 months ago so your right about my penis been used to my masturbation,my penis doesnt seem to like condoms but i think its because it is thick,i didn't think it was particulary thick untill i started having sex with girls and then i realised it was,the only other penises i saw were in adult films and most of them didnt seem much thicker than me.i think it is to do with stress because im depressed that i cant ejaculate for girls and get embarresed when my erection turns into a semi and sometimes disapears altogether,sometimes when im really aroused it wont go into a proper erection which depresses me and probably the worst thing is that they have been prostitutes because i cant get girls normally as they dont seem to like me.so it might be because of guilt aswell i dont know really i hope some more people can tell me what my problems and what i should do?
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (25 May 2008):
If we divide this problem into parts, we may have a better picture of what is going on.
1) You're young and you can maintain an erection for fifteen minutes. That rules out any physiological causes.
I guess you have not kept a chronograph by your side to determine exactly how long your erection lasts. I believe the estimate you give is a rough one. All the same, if you can maintain an erection, there is nothing wrong physiologically.
2) You mention you can't ejaculate during sex. You start to have the feelings of an orgasm, and then it stops. I assume this means you can ejaculate and have an orgasm with masturbation. Again, no physiological causes here.
3) You say you tend to lose your erection because condoms are too tight for you. Many condoms have between 50 and 52 millimeters of diameter, and that fits most sizes. I understand that condoms being large for the average man is a problem in a country I won't mention (for obvious reasons), but I haven't heard often that a condom fits too tightly. Anyways, that could be a reason for you to lose the erection, but I believe that your problem must be lack of sensation when you have the rubber on. You can find more information on condoms at www.trojancondoms.com, but I will tell you here that there's a number of condoms meant to allow for more sensations. Maybe you should use those ones.
4) I assume this mention of condoms also means you don't lose your erection if you don't have a condom on. Again, this points to lack of penile sensitivity. Condoms make the unhappy difference for you (and your girls, I guess) because they create a barrier to sensations.
5) Your having lost your virginity recently and the number of women you have slept suggests to me that you're now going wild and trying it, and you're also learning. I guess that trying with just one woman would help you, instead of sleeping with many who have different lovemaking needs. You're trying to run when you can't still walk.
6) I also assume you used to masturbate a lot and your penis has become used to that strong grip, rather than the sensations a vagina gives. Give yourself a break and sensations will come back.
7) In the end, there is also a psychological aspect. I assume you're under stress.
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (25 May 2008):
This might not be your issue, but sometimes sexual disfunction might have something to do with your own mind working against you. If you're carrying guilt or depression, they can effect your sexual performance. There are lots of men that have issues using condoms, including allergies to latex which could be contributing to your disfunction.
I would say that you need to have a detailed conversation with a doctor, probably more specifically, a urologist. You need more of a medical opinion other than advise from anyone here.
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