A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone,Well my problems has nothing to do about sex. I know a lot of people and im a pretty fun person to be around but I have a problem trusting people as friends because from multiple past experiences friends have been fake back stabbers. I have an amazing boyfriend and he's my only real best friend. I work and go to school but on the few days I have off I normally spend it with him, but today has made me realize how lonely I really am and how my life truely revolves around him. We went jogging this morning as usual but I wanted to go out with him today but he had already made plans to hang out with his best friend whom he barely sees. Now I'm home alone and bored on a beautiful day, I wanna go out but I feel like I don't have any friends who I can pick up the phone and call so we can hang out. Im so used to hanging out with my boyfriend that when he's not around I feel lonely. I have 2 other good friends but one of them lives ina completely different bourough from me and the other one is always working or with her boyfriend. I really don't trust anyone else other than them or my boyfriend. What do you guys think I should do? I am a senior in highschool and im not even going to my prom or graduation because I feel like I wouldn't enjoy myself because I've isolated myself from everyone to prevent anymore unnecessary drama. I used to be really popular but now I'm still known but choose not to mingle.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): You seem to be very insecure. During your telling of what is happening, you seemed to try to go back and forth between "I'm popular" to "but I don't like them" over and over."Fake back stabbers" When I read this I thought of Caesar saying "And you, Brutus?" and Brutus saying back "Oh, I was just joshing you! It's a rubber knife!"If you don't trust anyone, then you're paranoid. You may want to seek help.The world, believe it or not, isn't full of people out to get you. If you'd like to meet some of these people then go out and do ANYTHING. While you're out walking, say hi to people. Talk to anyone who happens to be close enough to you at a park. Really, the sky's the limit.New people/friends aren't all that hard to meet.
A
male
reader, jezman  +, writes (25 May 2008):
 it seems to me that you are not alone.you just think you are from past experiences.i noticed that towards the end you mentioned that you are still known but it's in fact you who chooses not to mingle with other students. i understand that you cannot simply ring someone up and they will come out and you will have a good time because you havn't really spoken to them for a while and it would be uncomfortable for you to mingle with someone you find hard to trust.as you know already there are lots of people who you can trust: your boyfriend and your two best friends for instance. i think you were just unlucky to have befriended people who would turn around and betray your friendship. try and believe that there are still people you can trust and that just because a few people have been cruel to you in the past it does not mean that many people are willing to be a shoulder to cry onto or an ear to listen to you :)take it slow and slowly start to mingle back with familiar crowds you once knew. you may find that they will be accepting and kind. If they are not then all you have to do is mingle with groups who will accept you for who you are because its not about being popular anymore, its about being able to ring a friend up when you feel lonely :)please keep posting on how it goes. Jez x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): Contact your friend who lives near to you. Ask if she wants to do anything. Say that you havn't hung around, just the two of you in a while and that you'd love to spend more time with her. Suggest going to a hobby where you can both meet new people (Rock climbing for example). If she says that she wants to hang around with her boyfriend then say that he can come too if she wants. This way you will get closer to her and her boyfriend. Try to mingle again at school. Just be careful about who you pick to be friends with. You should know who will treat you well and who will treat you badly, seeing as you used to know everyone so well. It's a pitty that you've ended up so lonely. The next time you have a day off try going out with your boyfriend to places where you could make new friends. If both of you are together then you will have a second opinion on who is decent and who isn't. Look through your phone book. Is there anyone you havn't talked to in a while that you used to get on well with? Ring them and ask if they want to meet up. It would be nice if you could catch up with some old friends and rekindle your friendships with them.Good Luck.
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