A
female
age
,
*arlene
writes:i met a guy i care a lot about.but he lives with a woman he got pregnant many years ago.the child is now grown.i don't understand why they stay together.he says he loves me.but he thinks i should be ok with this because they don't share anything except the house together.am i wrong for not understanding. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2007): Why would you believe that a grown man would live with a woman who he had a child with just to share the house?
I am sure he is sharing her bed as well, come on....
Why would you be attracted to this man who hasn't married the woman he lives with and had a child with so long ago that the child has already left the nest?
He sounds really weird to say the least, and he is not emotionally available or he would not tell you he loves you and remain living with another woman...in fact he is not available he is another woman's man!
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (1 January 2007):
 You're right for not understanding. You're wrong for allowing yourself to remain in the number two spot. As long as you allow yourself to settle for this treatment, it will continue. Only you can decide where to draw the line.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (1 January 2007):
 It sounds to me like this guy wants his cake and eat it. He is shacked up with the mother of his child, and also has you on the sidelines. He says they don't share anything except the house, but if that were true he would leave, as the child is now grown. So whats keeping him there?.
I don't think you are wrong for not understanding, to be honest not many women would.
Does the woman he lives with know about you?
Take Care, and good luck x
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A
female
reader, kellyO +, writes (1 January 2007):
 Dear Darlene,
Of course you are not wrong for not understanding. I'm surprised he expects u to be ok with it. Put it to him this way,if u were leaving in with a guy u shared a past and also have a child together will he understand??
Honey, u are in the right line of reasoning, dont allow him to make u sell yourself short. If he does loves u as he says, he should be able to get his own place and give u the trust and confidence in him that u need. I wouldnt advise u to continue in the relationship this way.
Take care now and happy new yr.
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