A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I love my boyfriend so much and I know he loves me. But I know I have to let him go due to his jealousy. He gets very upset when other men say hello to me and then he withdrawals from me completely. I dont know why he is like this. I guess he is afraid that I will hurt him which I won't. We live in a small town and I know of lot of people you can't be rude to them. I don't know why he is like this. I also told him I thought he was soooo tough, but now I see that he is just a softy and insecure. I wish there was something I can do. If we take it to the friendship level or so called friendship level then he never gets jealous. Is he just afraid? I want to be with him in the worst way but him getting so upset and retreating from the world is killing me. I can't handle other aspects of my life. He is 44 and has not had many relationships. Even his cousin said he hasn't said the word girlfriend for years. He is very old fashioned. What has pushed him to act like this? I don't think I can do the friendship thing again which will then go into a relationship and then he will get jealous and say I was disrespectful. Help I do love him. Is he just a control freak? He told me he is teaching me a lesson because his last bit of jealousy was so ridiculous that I kept calling on the phone. I am away right now but will be back in a few days and he is going to call. Should I just not answer the calls? As much as I love him and want to be with and would marry him - I can't take this behaviour.
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male
reader, samsung007  +, writes (24 March 2009):
Jealously is an awful thing , i react to my girlfriend the exact same way your man does to you. The reason he is jealous is because his self estem is very low and i hate to say this but he doesnt trust you completely.If you love him like you say you do , then this friendship thing is sending him mixed signals , he can seek help from various avenues , ie psychologists etc. Jealously is not a thing you can deal with lightly , its hard i know
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): Well, you answered your own question at the end by saying 'would you marry him? I cant take his beahvior.'
Jealousy is never about the person that is getting accused.
Usually people are jealous because they have done something in their lives that makes them insecure and jealous basically not trusting themselves thus they can not trust others. Even if they have had thoughts and not acted them out this will call them to be jealous.
Jealousy has to do with unresolved issues of the past maybe someone cheated on him, maybe he cheats himself in some way, but regardless its not your issue unless your purposely trying to make him jealous which sounds like your not. Good Luck!
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