A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend "hung out" with two other women when we had started going out. I had told him how much I didn't like him being alone with another woman but he didn't listen. So I have this strange earge to go and sleep with another guy just to make him feel the way I do. I know it's wrong to want to do that, but how else can I show him how much it hurts to not be the only person in your significant others life? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, x-kitycatlok-x  +, writes (21 August 2008):
 It all depends what you mean by "hung out" if, for instance, he slept with these women then he's not worth your time even trying to get back at him. He's obviously heartless enough.
However, if he only did hang out with them and have female friends then there's nothing wrong with that and you can't stop him from seeing his friends just because they don't have a penis. If you have a problem with it, talk to him about it. Don't get back at him for something he hasn't done.
Wishing you the best.
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2008): This is a real bad idea, really, really bad. Your boyfriend is entitled to have friends. You can't be the only person in his life, that is too suffocating for anyone. People are entitled to have friends, he is doing nothing wrong. You really need to sort out your possessiveness and stop trying to control his life. If you sleep with somebody else, he will think your cheap, and you won't prove anything except you will do anything to get your own way. This kind of thinking is very strange, I think you need to talk to a professional and get some help. We don't own people, we are with them because we love them, and we shouldn't seek to hurt them because they talk to other people....
Sorry babes, but I'm thinking of several films, "Fatal Attraction", "Play Misty for Me", I think you need to get some help.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 August 2008):
 Did he sleep with these two women? Your revenge, because that's what it is, is overkill. You are going much much further than he did, and I think this will backfire on you in ways you haven't thought through.
First of all, it is an unbalanced relationship that requires both parties to have only each other. Everyone should have friends and interests outside the love relationship. It keeps you mentally healthy and provides personal growth and develops a support network for both of you.
So my suggestion is to let this go. Tell him that you were upset about it, then let it go. Don't try to punish him for this. That is, unless he was sleeping around on you, in which case, why are you with him?
You're still young, if your age is correct. People can be brutal and judgemental about this kind of thing and even more so in late adolescence. You may get a reputation of being a 'bitch' or someone who sleeps around. I'm sure that's not what you would be going for, but this is an example of how this could backfire.
He could dump you faster than you could imagine when he finds out you slept with some random guy, and unless you are secretly trying to break up with him, I don't think that is the effect you're going for.
Just think about the consequences, ALL the potential pitfalls, in a revenge scheme like this. Work it through in your mind, and I think you'll realize it is a bad idea.
A better idea is to have a calm and rational discussion with him about how this has affected you, and give him a chance to tell you his side. It's good practice for later relationships, to work on these communication skills.
Good luck!
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