A
female
age
41-50,
*onay111
writes:I lived in Georgia for about 2 years, I'm originally from Wisconsin and I have a loving fiance. He's back in Georgia taking care of business. I'm getting urges to but the thing is I want to cheat on him with my first whom I haven't seen in about 4 years. I still know where he lives and I want to go and see him, just to see if he still would have feelings for me. And to stop my urges. What should I do. I don't want to cheat on my fiance but deep down I think I might. HELP
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female
reader, jonay111 +, writes (10 March 2008):
jonay111 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThsnk you all for your advice. I sat and had a long time to think about what you all are saying. It really isn't worth the time. I love my fiance, he's here for me when I need him even though we are miles apart. My ex ha his own issues to deal with I don't want to be bothered with them. I know that I would not want him to cheat on me either. What's done in the dark will come to the light. Thank You all for this very good advice. have a blessed day. (SMILE).
P.S No we don't have a date set for us to be married, He keeps holding off. we were suppose to have gotten married last year. Now he wants it to be next year, This is 2 years straight he's holded off on getting married. I don't know why. Maybe he's scared, or maybe he don't want to be married. This year will be 3 years of us being together. Can any of you tell my why he's holding off to be married to me if he loves me like he say he does?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): I would do a drive by, DON"T let anyone see you though just in case.
If you do a drive by you will be able to check it all out before, so you don't make a dick of yourself.
For God sakes thought, cover your tracks well, you never know who could be watching. Wear a wig and glasses, but try to look hot just in case he see you!
All the best!
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A
female
reader, pinksuze  +, writes (4 March 2008):
Why do you want to cheat on him? Are you not happy with him? Are you in a rut and bored? Do you harbour a secret fantasy of getting back with your first? You need to work out the answers because you cannot cheat on him and hope that things will work out, because they almost certainly won't.
If you're with him but don't really want to be you need to think about finishing with him. I know it's harder because of being engaged, but you really really don't want to get married to somebody you don't really and truly love. However, if you do really love him but you're just a bit scared - thinking eek! this is for the rest of my life, I'll never have any fun again then you need to address this. Or it's very possibly because you're so far away from your fiance and you're craving physical attention - hugs and kisses as well as sex. Being unfaithful to your fiance will NOT sort any of this out. It will leave you feeling guilty and there's the chance that you'll be entering into a marriage based on lies. You'll be hurting not only your fiance (it would be hurtful even if he never found out about it because of the lies and deceipt involved) but yourself too - would you be able to live with yourself if you followed through on this fantasy? And you also run the risk of hurting your first boyfriend too.
You need urgently to work out why you're feeling the urge to be unfaithful, and then act on what you discover. If it's that you don't truly love your fiance then you need to be brave and walk away. If it's because you're panicking you could maybe think of something else you could do that's fun before you let go of your freedom, something that's fun and doesn't hurt anybody. Or if it's the distance is there anything you can do to be together more? Sometimes people hold a candle for their first loves, but if it didn't work out at the time it's not likely to work out now. He's best consigned to your memory and your energy placed into yourself and your fiance.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): jonay111, please dont do this! It's a terrible thing to do and will only makes things worse. It may seem to be a good idea at the moment but in the long run it will be a very big mistake and could end up coming back to you. I too was engaged w/ my fiancee for past 2 yrs. but I found out couple months ago he CHEATED on me with an ex co-worker. And now she is pregnant claiming that my fiancee is the father. She started to torture me as well. I didnt want to leave him but I had no choice. Now he's begging/contacting me everyday saying he's sorry and loves me. But that will not help, that will not make me forget how he betrayed and put me through the worst pain of my life. I cant be w/ him as this girl/baby will be in his life forever and he made that choice when he was messing around with her while I was at home (many lonely nights) waiting for him.
Dont do this to your fiance. If you have doubts/problems, talk to him. Communication is the most important thing in the relationship. Dont put him thru that betrayal just so you can have a fling with your ex. I wouldnt want anyone else to go thru the feeling as what Im going through, including you. It's terrible! Think about it and work it out!
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): Stop these thoughts right now. You have a lovely loving bloke who doesnt deserve to be cheated on. How would you feel if he was doing it to you. Keep yourself busy, and not with another bloke either. Get focused on the future that you have together and stop harking back to something that will ruin your future.
take care
xx
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