A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Im hoping Im not alone in this but would definitely appreciate advice! Im 23 and Im starting to realise that I may have strong feelings for my ex teacher whos 41 and whom Ive known since I was 11, we are both strong creative women and shes been more of a mentor and friend to me than teacher, we lost touch for a bit after I went to Uni, odd emails here and there but now we've been in touch alot more as we have mutual friends. Not long after we began keeping in touch, I slept with a woman for the first time and honestly on reflection, the woman I slept with is quite similar to her...its made me start thinking my feelings were more than admiration and respect , which is probably part of it but its something I'd never thought of acting upon till now as I feel not only emotionally attracted, but sexually too. I dont want loose our friendship but its getting hard being around her, and I dont know how I would tell her. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWise words WiseOwIE! Thanks for your honest advice, I do value her friendship so much and would hate it to be awkward if it ends up that I had misread something because of my own feelings. I wount be seeing her till May to catch up as we both have busy schedules which will be good for me, hopefully gives me some time to try figure it out. Thanks again !
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2013): You are experiencing the typical gay crush we develop on older and distinguished mentors. There are qualities you learned to admire, and hope to find in others. Your strong feelings of admiration may manifest in sexual attraction and yearning for intimacy. However; these are fantasies.
It's like the little girl who dreams of marrying a guy just like her dad. You have developed a wonderful relationship as friends and colleagues. However; you haven't mentioned if she has extended any signs of romantic interest. In any case, let your feelings settle a little, so you'll keep a clear head.
If she isn't receptive to any romantic advances and rejects you, you'll feel very awkward; and it will be hard to continue the great camaraderie you've developed with this fine lady.
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