A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Recently, all of a sudden 4 cousins. in our family have come out that they are gay. 3 boys and one girl. all in their 20's. its quite a big family. 6 aunts/uncles. So lots of cousins.I find it quite crazy, you come to terms with one, then 3 more come out! Is it just in the genes? I guess with one I am close to, but its too fresh for me to ask too many questions just yet. But I'm curious as to how they "know" when. Are people born this way? Or is it their environment growing up? I actually suspect a few more are gay, but will never admit it, they are "hate the gays" people and one is in a relationship with kids which was done on a whim and you can tell there is no love in it.I myself have had 2 relationships but never been enthusiastic about them. I have really fancied guys though. I can be quite aroused by a womans body, like if watching porn, or I like looking at pretty girls if I am out. but I've never really considered I could be gay.I'd appreciate any thoughts. Sorry If I sound naive.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThats a really great response LW, its always reassuring to hear from someone who has experience in these situations!
I just remember a situation when at college, all the girls seem to be "bi" it was like "cool" and one of my good friends suggested we try one night, and we did experiment whilst tipsy, and being completely honest I was surprised I wanted to "try" but I didn't actually enjoy it, it didn't feel right, and never thought twice about trying it again, but I think I just sort of worried that since all these people in my family are coming out, its quite a high number, that maybe I might be born like it too.
I do know its silly, but just got confused incase I'd just never considered it, as i mentioned, my ex used to get annoyed with me because I wasn't feeling maternal at all, by the age of 25. So it just got me questioning myself.
But if it is something that is hard wired, then I'm probably just overwhelmed by all the new news !!!
A
female
reader, LW +, writes (2 May 2011):
Hi there,My advice would be try not to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by it all.. be grateful that your family is so close knit that your cousins feel secure in "coming out".. they know they will receive love from their family regarless of their sexual preference.This is obviouslly good as there have been so many situations where people know they are gay and feel trapped and never enjoy life,.. and sometimes go as far as to committ suicide as they feel they will never be excepted for who they truely are. So it is good that your family are not experiencing that!!My dad is gay.He and my mum broken up when I were 9. He told me he were gay when I was 17I really did not mind as I love him, it is his life.When I questioned him he said he always did know but severly wanted A family too, and so fought against those feelings. He also said that he would have never have "came out" if he and my mum hadn't of split... and that yes he did love her.So yes to answer your qusetion I do believe everybody knows their sexual preference from a early age.I do not feel you are lesbian. Most girls are turned on by female pron more than mens.. even studys have been done on it... it is some genetic hard wiring. The female body IS more visually erousing to most people!!I hope this helped.Just be happy for them :)
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