A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have social anxiety. I really like this guy, and I want to ask him out. I always hear people saying that you should only ask people out in person, but I really struggle to talk to people who aren't my close friends. I've ALMOST asked him before but I got too scared. Would it be acceptable in my situation to ask him over Facebook or text if he wanted to go out somewhere?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2013): I don't agree with the people who are saying to let him ask you out. I've always been a believer in letting the guy chase the girl, but at the moment I'm the one doing the chasing.. I don't know if it will pay off in the end, but for me- as someone who has suffered from social anxiety and is sick of letting my shyness get the best of me, I know I need to be the one to ask him out. I'm a bit older than you, and I remember debating about what to do about a guy when I was your age. I left it. I thought it would work itself out. And I've always kind if regretted it, although I'm also ok with how things worked out. I think using Facebook is ok, although obviously face to face is better. But I think he will appreciate it regardless.. It takes courage to ask someone out!
Good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2013): One of the great things about being a woman, is we don't have to ask guys out. If he likes you, and wants to date you, he will ask you out. All you have to do, is be kind and responsive to him, if you are ever around him. You can smile at him, you can look at him, then leave the rest up to him. When he asks you out, be very kind and welcoming. You are young, when I was your age, I wish I knew what I know now. For a true gentleman in your life, let him be the true gentleman, and ask YOU out.
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A
male
reader, GentleGiant  +, writes (21 September 2013):
Dont you be anxious for a moment. Text the fine gentleman and say can i meet you somewhere and that you want to talk to him. If he says no but wants to know why you want to talk to him, just say i want to ask you out on a date. If he is decent he will probably ask what you have in mind. And know what your going to say. If there is no intimacy going to be happening tell him i just want to go do this or do that with a light lunch or dinner at the end. Just say i believe we might have some things in common and would like to pursue this avenue. If he thinks he is getting some free milk be very clear and tell him no. A decent guy will accept that and will probably want to go on the date because he is truly curious and might secretly heard of you and have a mild mild crush on you. If your nervous dont be afraid to say so it is normal. And he shouldnt be taken back or upset. Good-luck.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 September 2013):
 Sorry but I agree with iAmHereToHelpYou. I know that this is the 21st century and girls can, and should, ask out the boys they like and yada yada yada, but, if they take on themselves the role of the suitor/initiator, then they have also to be prepared and able to accept serenely what comes with this role , i.e. the possibility of rejection. I don't think that with your emotional problems, if he rejects you, you'd just smile, and say " Oh well. At least I tried. Next ". Probably it would affect you disproportionately and you'd turn it into some roadblock which would worsen your present difficulties.
So, work on your social anxiety first. Even if it takes some time and patience.
If you do decide to go ahead, though, then I agree with WiseOwle. No Facebook! Might as well to be hung for a sheep than for a lamb. If you are going to stretch your comfort zone ( as I imagine that asking a guy out would be ) might as well doing it properly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2013): Now and then we push ourselves outside our comfort zone. If you want to date a guy; you can't hide from him and expect him to want to go out with you. I understand your disorder with anxiety; but isn't it your goal to overcome this obstacle?
You will depend on Facebook or some other form or social media which keeps you from being able to interact with
with people. Sweetie, you can't live your life behind a device. Boys like girls who can talk to them; as well as text and Skype. Texting is holding you back, fight it.
Learn to face a boy, and talk to him like any other friend.
If you send him a message and he accepts, then what? Where does it go from there? He's not going to enjoy texting you back and forth all the time.
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