A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so I am 16 and I lost my virginity at like 13. It was with someone I had a relationship with for 11 months. I don't regret it but it's brought me to like to have sex and do more things with the person I am with. I have had sex with more than one guy. Does this make me a whore? I don't just go around sleeping with men. I am in long relationships with these guys. I like having a good time and I enjoy being sexually active. Am I too young to be wanting all of this. I also find being with older men more attractive like in there 20s they are more experienced and know how to give me what I want.And I was previously in a relationship where I was abused I was hit and verbally abused more than I can even count by this guy. He says he has changed and wants me back but what do I say to this. Should I trust him and go back or will it all just happen again.
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lost my virginity, older men Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): I appreciate that, it makes me feel really good that I'm someone you can talk to. You're always welcome to message me if you need anything, I check here pretty often. Oh, and I'm very glad to hear you're not going back with this guy, it's good that you realize you don't deserve to be treated like that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, it feels good know that I do have someone I can talk to.
I may not necessarily know you, but just from the little advice given helped more than I expected it to.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): I'm glad I could help a little bit. And I'm glad you only do stuff with people you trust. I hope you do use protection though, I wouldn't want anything to happen that you'd regret, and you wouldn't either I'm sure. :) If you need anything else please let me know.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank all of you who have replied to this.
I3elieve.in.You- Your comment really helps and your right getting back with him would basically be the biggest mistake of me life.
As for the long relationship thing that won't change I just don't go around giving myself to every guy I date.
It's not like that these guys are with me at least long enough for me to realize I can trust them.
Again thank you. 33
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank all of you who have replied to this.
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female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (6 October 2009):
 1) As the others have said you are not a whore.
2) As the others have said, do not go back with the abusive ex.
It is a VERY RARE scenario when people can reunite and find things work the second time around. And you should know that nothing has changed with the ex. Oh sure, he'll be on his best behaviour for a while, but he hasn't changed. To be honest, I am surprised that you'd be tempted to go back to him.
Maybe this is just me, but if someone (anyone) physically and emotionally abused me, I wouldn’t be able to forgive them enough to attempt to "go backwards" and be with them again.
You've had to work hard to regain your self-esteem and your emotional health. Do you really want to have to REPEAT that process?
Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009): No, you're not a whore, but being sexually active at that age (as it is illegal, for one thing) is frowned upon usually, which may be why you are worried. However, enjoying sex isn't a bad thing, you're supposed to enjoy it. It sounds like you've been hurt emotionally any physically in the past, and I know you don't want to continue on that path, so PLEASE don't get back with this guy. Maybe he has changed, but you don't want to take that risk, he blew his chance with you when he did those things and unfortunately now he has to face the consequences of that - losing you. There's nothing wrong with wanting sex, but at your age if you do it a lot and more fequently (and if your habit changes to where you're not always in long relationships with all these guys you're doing stuff with) you may find you regret it later, thinking that you gave it away too easily to people who hurt you.Again I say, please don't get back with this guy though, you can do better than that, and you deserve better. If you have any other questions let us know. Don't stress about 'being a whore', because you're not, trust me. But please make sure you use protection so that you don't end up with a consequence you regret (pregnancy, STD, etc). There's nothing wrong with doing stuff with someone you are in a relationship with, and it sounds like you know that, so you're fine. :)
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male
reader, Captiain George  +, writes (6 October 2009):
 Ok as an ex brothel owner I can tell you that you are definitely NOT a whore, people who make money out of sex whether they enjoy it or not for money as the main reason are (whores) but that's a nasty word created by wowsers who don,t like either sex workers or people (women) having fun with sex. It's your body and your life, don't be head fucked by religious zealots' views on life and just enjoy what ever you decide to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009): Hi
Okay, so from what I see that these men that you've had sex with, you weren't in love with either of them? And your ex was abusive.
No, honey, you aren't a whore at all (please don't ever use the word again, it is derogatory). But you do sound like someone headed for relationship trouble, and a lot of emotional pain.
So, first, don't go back to your ex. Let him learn this invaluable lesson that if he abuses a woman, he will lose her forever, and so he must never even think of doing it to anyone.
It takes all types to make the world, and if you are attracted to older men, then good for you!! (Just stay away from the married ones, they're not worth the trouble). So, go out and enjoy yourself, just be sure to stay protected!!
BTW, why only women ask themselves if they are a 'whore' for wanting and enjoying sex (men, of course think that they are studs!)
well, have fun
:)
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