A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello Can anyone help with my issue? I have serious insecurity problems! I have been with my bf for 6 months, when I first met him he was a bit of a jack the lad, out all the time, had girl "mates" calling him all the time, would reply to his girl mate messages with loads of kisses and meet them when he was out. I ever said anything just let him get on with what he wanted to do, I would never stop anyone from going out or try and control them. Then one day I had enough and was ready to leave as I didn't want this type of relationship it wasn't making me feel good or special, like I know I deserve! (I have been with a lot of cheats in the past) I thought the red flags were there for me to get out. I was taken aback by his response, I didn't think he'd be that bothered for 1 minute but he apologised profusely, reassured me they were just friends, asked me to give him a chance to prove how much I mean to him etc and opened up his heart about how he felt about me and how happy I made him. So this was about 2/3 months ago and since then he has lived up to his word, he has treated me better than any other man I have been with, he buys me flowers, takes me out, wants to be with me a lot, he has his odd nights out but not every week like he used to, he wants to take me away .... so what I'm trying to say is now he is treating me lovely but I can't get over my insecurity that he will cheat or get in touch with other girls. He reassures me If he thinks I am thinking like this but after a while I know I will end up pushing him away. Any advice??
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2012): I think you should give yourself more credit than you are. It's not only possible, but also probable, that he has found "the one" in you and is instinctively "settling down."
I personally am in the opposite situation from you. I am a male and have always been a "player." I have had LOTS of women, sometimes many at the same time, and have cheated on most of my relationships, including a marriage (never got caught but have always had a reputation). Now, I have been seeing a woman for about a year and I have no doubt that I have found the one woman who is worth my fidelity. I still go have drinks with female friends now and then but mostly I just listen to their stories and when we talk about me, I end up talking about my girlfriend. I have no desire to ever "be" with another woman in my life.
So, relax, and don't ruin a good thing by being unnecessarily suspicious and insecure.
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (28 March 2012):
 he cannot do anymore to convince you that he cares and wants to be with you can he SO it is you that needs to chill out and stop comparing him to the other men you have dated Seriously this man WANTS to be with you he has proved it and as you sais 'he has treated you better than any man you have been out with' Enjoy it xx
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