A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Hope everyone is doing well. My one question brought another to mind for me. Why would my husband not want to kiss me at all, or sit and hug me at all? I have been married decades now, and i am not braindead LOL, but it has taken me all this time to ask that question. i thought it was because i have gum disease, and he did not want to get it from me, but many people have the same thing and they kiss alot! So, now i am wondering why not. he has never been the type of person that wants to just stay in bed and have breakfast, or that wants to have me cuddle on couch with him, but he does like to cuddle for a few minutes every night before he goes to bed. before i met him years ago, i had a regular kind of existence- in fact i still have a few men friends from the past who still care about me which is very sweet. and i hear from them once in awhile. thank God they are happily married for years. i wanted a man's point of view not a woman's. What's wrong? thanks so much. please do not judge me on one letter either, i have worked very,very hard to remain faithful to him in every way. i love him very much. he does very sweet things for me- the other day- he fixed a rubber ducky ring that broke- he found missing part and fixed it. he thinks my music is wonderful also. he laughs with me too alot….hmmm.> Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2013): Without knowing much about your marriage, and how affectionate your husband was from the beginning; I would only guess he's getting older.Many men are not as romantic and mushy as their female partners may desire. If that's not the kind of man you married, don't expect too much to change. The unfortunate thing about some men is; as they grow older, they get rusty romantically. They don't treat their female partners as they did years ago. Some men always do, and some just think it's silly after a certain age. It's up to you to let him know what you're missing. If you shy away from telling him the things you miss in the marriage for fear he'll dismiss you, that is why things are as they are now. You've let him get away with it too long. Now you want it, and he feels awkward doing it. You feel silly for asking for it. So you secretly crave what it feels like to be in his arms and for him to desire you as a woman.Maybe you need to introduce him to the little blue pill. Mature men take things for granted; because he has had you by his side for so long. He can only think of his own needs.If you've mothered and catered to his needs; and asked for little in return, this is how things turn out in your older years of marriage.However; you can always teach him new tricks.If you've had gum disease; please understand how that might prohibit him from really being willing to French kiss you.I'm not letting him off the hook. It's those selfish crotchety old farts that don't appreciate their wonderful loving wives until they're a memory.Then they sit around telling everyone what a wonderful woman she "was;" instead of how wonderful she IS! Some guys just never learn how to treat a woman, and that's because women let them get away with it. These guys will only choose the type of woman he feels he can control or manipulate. He thinks it makes him a man by being "in charge;" but he misses the mark entirely, as a husband and father. That's the kind of guy you get a good life policy for; and wait out his expiration date. You cash in your policy, find a young lover, and sip cool drinks on a tropical beach.You valued something as small as his fixing a ring,and you treasured the sentiment behind it. He likes your music. These are favors you'd do for your mom. As a wife, you should expect more from your husband than small tokens of his appreciation, or nice gestures.You deserve love and intimacy. Hugs and affection. It shouldn't be an after-thought once you're divorced, or after you are dead and gone.So just ask him to give you a wonderful kiss and a hug to show you appreciation for all your years of devotion. Tell him how you miss being treated like a woman and his sexual partner. Tell him what you've written in your post.Every single word. Well, accept about the other guys!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2013): Do not feel upset about this kissing thing, unfortunately movies and TV programmes make a great deal about it, real life does not compare. Real life is are you happy? apart from the kissing? I think the problem goes deeper and I suggest you sit him down and tell him how you really feel before you run away with one of those other men that are taking an interest.
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