A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I'm been in love with this girl for close to 5 months now. We are friends but recently I grew to really like her (not sure why too). We are classmates at a local university.I decided to spend time with her. We exchanged messages almost daily both of Facebook and phone (However, I would say I had to initiate the conversation 3:1 ratio). Sometimes she would reply immediately but sometimes taking more than 1 day to reply. Her messages are not the 1-word and the messages seem to be rather equal (length and quantity)She used to talk to me more often but recently the exchanges seem to be a lot less (because she is recently busier and we have finals coming up). She seems rather stressed out and I have continued to encourage her and share all my materials with her to aid her in studying (However, she always seems appreciative but does not follow up the conversation).I have met her 1 to 1 to discuss work before and have never gone on a date with her (usually this is done only when both parties are really comfortable here). However, sometimes when I attempt to schedule meetups (to study etc). She would always have to cancel (with legitimate reasons - mother is ill etc). Most of the times she does try to reschedule but sometimes she doesnt.I really like this girl. I have no idea whether she is just being nice to me or she is oblivious to my feelings (i'm not being too obvious but I do quite a lot of nice stuff for her). She doesn't avoid me. What my question is really this - Should I continue to be this friend that helps her out (and hopefully one day she will realise my feelings for her) - it pains me sometimes when she doesnt reply my messages in a short timeframe? or should I just let go now without ever knowing her feelings?
View related questions:
facebook, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2014): You need to realize the fact you have been friend-zoned.
You don't describe anything that she does that could be interpreted in a romantic way.
Either accept the role and be a friend; or find someone to date. She's being genuinely nice, in a friendly platonic-sense.
It's a bit adolescent to silently crush, and not tell a young woman that you'd like to date. Using studying as an excuse to be with her, then acting like a hurt little schoolboy when she doesn't text you back. What's the rush,
if you're only a friend?
She is not acting like a girlfriend, so stop acting like her boyfriend. She isn't leading you on in the least. You're trying to date on the sly, using "studying" as your reason for hanging around with her.
Either man-up and ask for a date; or continue being a friend and study-partner.
Wait patiently for her responses to your messages. She is busy. Even if you were her boyfriend; don't use messages to gauge and measure her feelings. That is totally juvenile.
You decided to spend all your time with her. You didn't have the courage to tell her what your true intentions are. So you're putting yourself on hold for no apparent reason.
|
