A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I met this guy about a year ago at the gym (he works there, I'm a member). After a month, I started crushing on him. It always seemed he liked me too, but he wouldn't make a move (I thought he was a slow mover). Also, he's younger than I am, but he's at least 35-40 (I don't look my age).Several months later, I gave him a note to show my interest in him and to break the ice, but he still didn't make a move. However, he still continued to act like he liked me by flirting and making lingering eye contact with me, and I would even catch him watching me several times. About a month after I'd given him the note, I asked him directly if he was involved with someone and he told me he was, but then he said "I'll let you know if it changes." (To me that sounded like his relationship was shaky or something.)About five months later, I took a chance and gave him a letter telling him I had feelings for him (but not in love with him -- to show him I was still interested) and wanted to know about his relationship status. A few days later, his answer (face to face) was that he was still in his relationship. So after that, I backed way off. He would still be friendly and sweet and say 'hi' and would do things to get my attention, but I would just try to shine him on. Then for about a week or so his schedule changed and we didn't see each other. One day when were at the gym at the same time, he behaved as though he had missed me (and said things to that effect -- on two occasions -- he seemed really sincere). I guess he thought I had changed gyms or something because he told me he was glad I was still coming to the gym (I actually had seriously thought about changing gyms so I wouldn't see him). After that, he really started acting more as though he liked me. But ever since he told me he was still in a relationship, I've been distant but friendly toward him, and at times he'll be friendly too and chat me up and stuff when he's not super busy or I'm not busy with my workout. To this day, I don't know what his relationship status is (and I dare not ask him again or give him any more notes or letters), but I do still care for him and I've just been going with the flow (since I don't have any other prospects on the horizon right now). I don't approach him -- I always let him approach me. BTW, I've lost 55 pounds so far! : ) Please tell me your take on this situation with this guy and me. Thank you so much for your time!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your reply! I'm actually 52. Do you still think he's too young for me? Not that anything will ever happen between us though. Also, I had decided against going to a different facility because it's the best one out of the chain, and it feels like "home" now after a year. Who knows, he may eventually decide to quit working there or work at a different facility. It seems gym employees don't stay in one place too long anyway. Thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2009): Even if you don't look your age - and congratulations on losing the weight! - This man is still much too young for you.
You have made numerous attempts to show your interest and he has let you know there's nothing doing, and yes, he is still in a relationship. You have to take his word for the status of it, and cease concerning yourself with it.
My recommendation is to find a different gymn and stop dreaming about what will never be. (If he WAS interested and wished to pursue you, believe me, by now he WOULD have - hopefully after breaking up from his current relationship). Forget about him.
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