A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i feel like i have no friends at all they have all gone there seperate ways and just don't bother texting or even replying i don't get invited to any parties or anywhere anymore i feel really left out and feel like im just billy no mates.ive never had a girlfriend or had sex never even asked a girl out just feel like a real loser and want to make more friens guys and girls and hopefully have fun im only 18 and yet feel like i've had no fun whatsoever just fed uphow do i get out of this mess?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2011): There's no rules which you need to conform to so you can make friends. The last thing you want is contrived friendship, believe me.
Just try to be happy with where and who you are, that way, any friends that come your way will be a bonus and not just a commodity.
A
female
reader, Blod +, writes (30 December 2011):
 You need to get out and start socializing. I think a lot of people your age go through quite similar feelings as it's a bit of a transition stage. Obviously, having friends is a give and take. You need to make an effort but you can't force people to hang out with you either. Keep in touch with old friends, but don't hold back from other people. Socialize and be friendly. Even if you're not feeling confident, don't let it show. Just show interest in other people when you're taking to them and try to find something you have in common. So, like the other post said, joining a club or society is a really good way of meeting new people and making friends.
As for the girl thing, I definitely don't think that makes you a loser in any way. Finding the right person and being happy is what's best and it doesn't matter how old you are when that happens.
Chill out and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Happy_Heart5 +, writes (30 December 2011):
It's okay to feel the way you do
I know it's difficult, I'm in the same situation. It's very frustrating.
Don't feel as though you're a loser, you're not. You're having trouble finding a girlfriend because you're not going to the right places. This has been made more difficult by not having any friend to go with.
Try contacting a friend & go out to a pub or club with them, you will soon meet new people then. If you're friends aren't responding try taking a relative (cousin maybe)
If you're after you're soulmate or a possible love interest try joining a club of your favourite hobby or interest. There you will meet like-minded people & it will be a fun way of socialising. It also keeps you occupied.
All the best, I hope things work out for you
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2011): The first and best solution for this is YOU have to make the effort. That's the problem here, you've got into a rut and because you're fed up you think it's you, but it isn't you as a person, it's because you've stopped making the effort.
It's like you said you don't bother texting or even replying anymore, that's the problem right there. Because you're fed up you assume everyone should contact you first, but it doesn't work like that. Your friends may think the same about you, they may think well he doesn't contact us or even reply back, so I'm not going to contact him. You should make the first effort with your friends and contact them, arrange something even if you don't feel like it and always reply to their texts. The day they actually say to you 'I don't want to hang out with you', is the day you should give up on them.
As for finding new friends just try and go to as many social occasions as you can, anywhere you think you'll meet new people. Take up a new hobby, classes, courses, pubs, clubs, job, anything.. you'll get there in the end and meet people. You're just feeling a bit low and fed up at the minute, we've all been there! I know I have.
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A
female
reader, Libra1963  +, writes (29 December 2011):
 Best way to make friends is my finding an interest. I met most of my longest friends through music as I used to sing and perform in bands. Find something where you will be around people for a long time. This could also be voluntary work. A lot of people meet at work as well.
Good luck and stop feeling sorry for yourself.
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A
male
reader, dobro  +, writes (29 December 2011):
 Don't worry about the relationships or sex. You'll be glad in three or four years time.
As for friends, well, have some of them started uni?
What interests do you have? Music? Theatre? Art? Sports?
Find something social to join.
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