A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:i know this isn't to do with love relationships but it is to do with friend relationships.i've just moved miles away from where i used to live so i've had to make new friends. i didn't mind at first as i hung around a group of girls who were friendly. but then they started ignoring me so i ended up spending my break and lunch alone. But then i made a new friend and she is now the only friend i have. But the problem is i think she is using me because she doesn't say i'm a proper friend, she just says i'm only hanging out with you because you need a friend, and she always knicks half my lunch and takes my ipod. i didn't mind that too much but now she has started telling me i need to change what i look like, saying i need to wear makeup and wear proper clothes and get my hair cut and i don't want to and i have told her but she just keeps on at me. i don't want to lose her as a friend because i'll be on my own again. please help, what can i do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lush2010 +, writes (13 March 2011):
girls your age can be cruel.. i experienced this type of behaviour too when i was your age. All i can say is, hang in there , do your best to be strong and try not to let these girls upset you. There is nothing wrong with you and unfortunately it takes time to settle into a new crowd and for people to accept you. When you the new one at school, this can often be the hardest thing as you have no history with these people and they'll find immature reasons to pick on you and make you feel unwelcome.
You have two choices here - conform or be strong and try not to care about what they think (which is the best option) because you shouldnt have to change for anyone.
If they dont like the clothes you wear then thats their own problem. Unfortunately if what you wear makes you stand out from the crowd, you'll find that a weak person like the girl who hangs out with you , is going to feel embarassed or be scared of what other people think of her for hanging out with you , when they all think you dress or behave differently.
You shouldnt take any of it personally, and you can try harder to find more in common with the people around you and the girl that hangs out with you.. or you can be strong and and not conform to their way of thinking. They are just mean and pathetic individuals and they dont deserve your friendship anyway .
talk to your friend and ask her why she wont call you a friend and why she wants you to change your hair, makeup and clothes? And if you are open to it .. then maybe ask for some tips. Though i feel , she is just wants you to look like the rest of the crowd so that she doesnt get teased for hanging out with you
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