A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Can I get some advice? I have never ever had an orgasim even though I have been with a number or partners and tried everything you can imagine including doing it alone with no luck. PLease help if you can guve me any tips on how this can be acheived either alone or with my partner, I would really appreciate it.Thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007): have you ever tryed tripple exence... after stimulating breast and believe it or not some girls have to stimulate there belly button as well pushing down. rub the cliterious with you thumb and use two fingers index for g spot and middle for push up not deep up in the vagains dep though but up that is a gland the female prostate know as the urtha gland you will squirt at list 12 times before orgasm but it will bring pre orgasmic relive it takes a woman an average of 30 min to orgasm for me this trick gave me my first when i was 33 my first was 15 could you believe it
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2007): I share the same problem as this righter. I some what feel it has something to do with my Diabetes. I feel this way because I'm often dehydrated and most Diabetics lose their sex drive after some time. I ABSOLUTELY enjoy sex, and in my sexual life...most men haven't said any thing. However, I feel that it was one of the many reasons that broke me and my last b/f up. The man I am seeing now...has a small penus. We have recently opened up and discussed him being self-conscious about his size. I, at that time, let him know that I am very satisfied with our love making even though I haven't had an orgasim yet. I told him that I haven't ever had an orgasim..as far as getting "wet". However, I do tremble when we are being intemate and it isn't anything I'm controlling or faking. In fact, every time I'm arroused with a partner during sex, I have this reaction. So I believe that that is MY way of having an orgasim.
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (26 April 2007):
 If you've never had an orgasm alone, it is unlikely you will have one with a partner. For a start, you probably won't be relaxed enough and secondly, you won't know how to get yourself off! You need to invest in some toys just for you and get to know your body before you can move on to doing these things and enjoying them with other people.
I think you're forcing it too much as well and it will never happen when you're putting too much pressure on it like this. Take it slow, get to know yourself, feel comfortable with the partner you're going to be intimate with and it may come with time.
However, it may never happen for you. I can have an orgasm easily on my own but have never had one with a partner no matter what we do or what toys we use. That's just the way it is: 70% of women cannot come from ordinary penetration and lot's can't come from foreplay either. It's just one of those unfortunate things that we have to put up with! But that's no reason for you not enjoying sex.
Hope this has helped and I hope you get to a good sex shop and find youself something nice then spend a nice, long night in on your own with a bottle of wine and really show yourself a good time! Forget about men, who needs them to make us have fun?! It may take time but it will happen, just relax and enjoy.
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A
female
reader, mcbirdie +, writes (26 April 2007):
 The most important thing it to relax about it, as much as you can. Orgasms are great, I won't tell you otherwise, but they are also not the most important thing about sex, nor the most enjoyable. So long as you and your parter are having fun during sex, that is half the battle.
On to more practical issues--you say you've tried everything. What exactly does that mean? I think that the easiest way to start having orgasms regularly is to have an orgasm by any means necessary, so you at least know what you're aiming for. To that aim, I would get a small vibrator and focus strictly on clitoral sensations (penetrative orgasms are much harder to achieve--think of them as a master class).
There are also creams available which increase the blood flow, and therefore the sensation, in your clitoris so you may find them a help. As do lubes which have an extra heating or tingling feature.
But overall, I would take an evening for yourself. Lie back in a darkened room when you have no distractions, and play with a vibrator until you find what works for you. Don't put so much stress on it--it is impossible to orgasm when you are stressed about it. Once you have the first, I think you'll find that the next is even easier.
Best of luck. :)
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