A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I am I School freshman and I have never been on a date before. my friend off sort of try to set me up on date but my parents make it really hard because they won't let me go anywhere to hang out with a friend and my day drive or they approve of my friends parents and they're the ones driving. most of my friends are only allowed to see me if they come to my house because my parents don't like our conversation topic that they found out about it because a friend was laughing with me about something we said earlier.our school doesn't do dances but we have a welcome freshmen breakfast and it goodbye senior breakfast and throughout the year there are ladies tea parties and the guys get to play paintball. there is also a formal dinner 2 times a year for all students and you get to bring a date.it's really really chaperoned and they make sure there was a teacher at every table and students who don't have dates get to act like servers or else they cook as part of the home ec assignment. I guess my parents just assumed that I would not have a date but I really really want this guy to ask me. I talked to him a lot and he sits by my lunch table but when that got back to my parents they were "Disturbed" because he is a senior and because he won't be going away to college or the military. his parents also both have a past but isn't pretty but they seem like really good people to me. I have had a couple people say that they thought he had shown porn to some guys in my grade and that his parents drink in their house. well there is another guy in my class who was really really annoying. He doesn't have any friends mostly because he pushes himself on people. He will sit down at a table and just start join in the conversation and he interrupts and if you say something silly in passing like something sarcastic or a sweeping statement he starts laughing like we're stupid and basically make fun of us and he just won't shut up about how he is right. I mean he is really really smart about something because he read something one time and he can say it forward and backward. he taught himself how to read the Bible in Greek and Hebrew. He is constantly getting in trouble for correcting the teachers and he totally stares at our chests or our butts so that now the boys have to sit on the other side of the cafeteria and classroom and that means when we are waiting for a ride or something he is always right there so teachers and parents stand there too. if it is just my friend he leaves them alone but not if I am there. that means we can't have private conversationsI made it a point to dress really nice and I was trying to talk to Tom but the other guy would not go away and because he is so annoying most people just walk away or make fun of him. so that means I am stuck with him because he drives people away from me. I did not want to look desperate or like I was trying to go after X but I found some excuse to ask him to borrow some paper and the guy came up and so you have some in your locker I saw that here I'll get it for you. and that just made me look stupid and I tried another time to say I forgot something so that I could borrow it from X and then I came up and told me that I could ask him instead of X and told him he was trying to talk to me and that he was intrudingI made it a point to dress real nice and put on makeup and do my hair because I was hoping that X would compliment me and of course the other guy followed me around all day long he even stood outside the bathroom and talk to me while I was going. my parents have a rule that if you are asked to go on a date or to spend time with friends and you say no then you have to say no to everybody else to ask you after that. I only have a certain amount of time on the phone and he calls every day and chews up every bit of it. He is about the only person I get to socialize with but that's only because he won't go awayI have complained about him making you uncomfortable and my parents tell me I am being very rude and he is lonely. I was told that X likes me and he wanted me to go with him but he tried several times to call me and my parents told him my phone time was up. He asked me if I was dating the other guy and I said no but I could not say I wasn't interested because he was sitting right there and he went off on him and told him that he needed to leave me alone because he was protecting me from people like himI feel like nobody will listen and I am afraid that if I tell them that he makes me uncomfortable they won't let me go anywhere what do I do
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2016): To me, his behavior is VERY alarming. Not only does he do everything he can to drive Z away from you, he drives your FRIENDS away from you. He monopolizes all your phone time and will not even let you go to the bathroom without standing outside the door. This just SCREAMS jealous, possessive, and controlling. He also mocks people who aren't as smart as he is, can't grasp the concept of sarcasm/jokes, butts into other people's conversations just to take over! I can see exactly why no one likes him. In my day kids like that got the snot beat out of them. Now a days, openly telling somebody make you uncomfortable is considered bullying. All that coupled with the fact that he stares at girls so intently that the teachers have to separate everybody? Your teachers seem to know what's going on as soon as you approach your friends or if you are alone they know to be within earshot because X will come along. Please talk to one of them, and tell him that you are not interested in dating him. I think what your parents I meant was that if he asked you on one date and you said that you were not interested, that you had to say no to any other guy for that particular date. As for Z, I agree with Wiseowl that he is too old for you. I don't know what they meant about his parents drinking in the house, but its probably not a glass of wine here and there. What scares me the most is rumors that he showed porn to MINORS. I would advise you to steer clear based on that alone. Coming up with excuses to talk to him just makes you look silly. Stick with your FEMALE friends and call one of THEM first so you're "unavailable". Same with weekend plans. And what about any guys in your grade who are single? Maybe a neighbor or church member your parents approve of? Can you tell them you want to be kind without leading him on? Maybe if they realized about how he stares at you sexually and stands outside the bathroom door they'll realize how crazy he is.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2016): You seem well supervised by your parents, if you ask me.
You're at the age when boys are starting to take notice. Only you like X (who has issues most parents don't like); but Z likes you. So very typical! Girls never like the ones who like them. They want to bad boy instead. He annoys you trying to get your attention. You're rude like your parents told you.
If the other guy is a senior, he's obviously too old for you. Naturally you want what your parents don't want you to have. You're at that age. Rebellious, and making unwise choices.
If the annoying boy is willing to ask you, accept it graciously; because he likes you, and your parents approve. You never give him a chance; because you're too busy defying your parent's wishes. He might turn out to be someone you really like.
Keep chasing your crush if you like. Dressing pretty for him and whatnot. Your parents are keeping an eye on you, and I think they're very good parents.
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