A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:A guy I was quite close to got back in touch with me in January this year after we hadn't spoke for a couple of yearsI had helped him through a mutual friend to get a job and he obviously found outSo anyway we started talking again etc but that was January and nothing sinceHe said at the time let's start to get to know each other again we met for one coffee in January and that's it now nothingWill he contact me ? Am I being impatient being as we haven't spoke for ages etc just need some advice ;( Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for responding all
No we had a big falling out prior to the meet 2 years previous
His freed who I know mentioned he was struggling to. Help him and that's whee I stepped in
So he found Out I helped as the guy said I had and contacted me
We ended up thing for 4 hours about the past and he was sorry for how he treated me before etc
So we met for the coffee and I texted a week later to wish him luck on the new job and a week later he wished me a happy birthday but nothing since 24 January
I've. Not contacted him so am it sure what happened
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 March 2016):
 No he is not interested, he found out you helped, so he thanked u as he saw fit, nothing more. Sorry for disappointment
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2016): Two months of no contact is pretty much an indication he isn't going to. Don't you think? He was appreciative you helped him to get a job, and probably felt he had to say something nice. Schmoozing you almost condescendingly.
If there are no strings attached, I truly think you shouldn't take his words seriously; and see him for nothing more than a smooth-talker.
Waiting around for men to call is an act of desperation. Holding out and letting it bother you like this doesn't make any sense. You could have called him at anytime. This would put him in the awkward position of making good on his word, or you could assess he was just full of crap.
If he's working on the same job, be professionally polite and distant. He probably thinks you're expecting some sort of payback for helping him. How did he find out you helped? Who's the leak?
Sweetheart, don't even bother getting to know this guy. I think what you've seen is enough. Don't you?
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A
female
reader, Beile  +, writes (12 March 2016):
 I don't want to be harsh but, chances are the coffee was out of courtesy for your help in landing him a job.
But just to double check with your context;
Your mutual friend helped him out, and he found out you were the most responsible for helping him out? (Like a secret santa)
Or was he was only reaching out to you for your aid?
If he didn't contact you for more than a month, you are most likely not on his list of priorities at the moment. But you may consider reaching out to him once and see his response.
If it's positive, initiate a conversation and ask him for coffee again. But if he doesn't seem to elicit much of a response, it's best to give him a miss.
Best of luck to you!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2016): I want to know why are you still waiting for him. He is being disrespectful and you are still hanging in there. Please move on.
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