A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Well, I've done something stupid. I'm 16 and Gay. I've got quite close to a friend of a friend who told me he knew I was gay. It's been a year since we met online, we've become best friends and tell each other everything. I never viewed our relationship in a romantic way but I often think of what it would be like and I would love to be with him but I am not attracted to him that way. A thing I should've told you is that he's 19 going on 20. We always that this gap was wide but he tells me that the fact I'm so much maturer than other guys my age gets this fact away from his perspective. Anyway, I find it hard to analyse the way i feel about people recently, mainly because of stress. He admitted that he liked me more as just a friend and I care too much about him to let him down so I said I felt the same way. The truth is at the time I wasn't sure if I liked him or not because i was extremely stressed. I feel terrible for lying and I really don't know how to tell him. He's my only friend and I really don't want to lose him. I don't want him in a romantic way because i only feel what a best friend would feel love but not the type of love he wants me to feel. Please Help, any advice would be much appreciated :).
View related questions:
best friend, met online Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (24 May 2013):
Dear OP,
He was your friend and you didn't want to disappoint him in that moment. I can understand that. But for the future - when it comes to love, be honest about your feelings. If you're uncertain, say you're uncertain. If you can't decide because you're stressed, say so. Otherwise, there's going to be a lot of trouble.
Look, you have to do the right thing now: Call him and say you're sorry, but you realised you don't have these feelings. There's no easy way out of this and it's going to hurt him either way, so make it a short and clean cut and don't keep dragging this on for any longer. Maybe you will lose the friendship. But who knows, maybe if you're honest now there's some small chance you can save it.
You're still very young. So you might want to find a boyfriend that's your age. You write that he's your only friend, so it's going to take some time to find new friends. But it's going to be worth it. Maybe you could join an LGBT group? Or a sports team? That way you won't feel so lonely in case the friendship can't be fixed.
Wish you good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2013): You never string people along with a lie.
You will lose a lot of wonderful friends that way.
Don't blame stress as your excuse. You just weren't being honest, and you let him pressure you into saying what he wanted to hear. Now you don't have the courage to tell the truth. You shouldn't let people force you to say things you don't mean.
He is also too old for you, and there may be legal problems; because you are a minor. Please avoid any sexual contact with him. Your parents could press charges. This could be serious. If you go through with this you, are helping him to do something that could place him in jail.
Is 16 the consensual age in the UK? It is not in many parts of the U.S.!
The only advice you need is this. Tell him the truth!!!
NOW!!!
...............................
|
