A
female
age
36-40,
*iss. m
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. We moved in together around the 5 month mark. I recently got a job I have been wanting for a long time... its a really awesome place to work. Prior to our meeting we both had planned on moving out of state (both for financial purposes). The time has come where his job opportunity has finally come. Lots of money to be made. Problem is its 2 hours away. He wants me to move with him. I wont have my great job but he will and he will be happy. I can't afford to live where I do on my own. But if I move I may not have a job (at least not one I enjoy ). It kills me to think of not going with him. If I don't I will probably just wind up moving away to be in the state my family lives in. Then I'd loose everything and everyone familiar. I don't want to leave my job I just got, but I don't want to loose my man. He doesn't want to move away forever, just a few years. I don't know what to do. I have love for him and bills to pay.I'm confused and don't know which direction to take.
View related questions:
money, moved in Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Nithyanala  +, writes (17 February 2011):
 Your level of financial security should determine how much you need this job and if it is important to you, take it.
Good men wait, good jobs don't.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (16 February 2011):
 Do yourself marrying this man? Have you guys even talked about engagement, marriage, etc?
Here's your options:
-You could move with him, but there's always that chance of you not finding work due to the crappy economy..Would he be ok if you were unemployed and him being the sole bread winner?
-You could take the job stay where you are and your relationship would turn into a LDR. That is if you BOTH can handle a LDR. LDRs are hard and not everyone can do them. Then he moves back in a few years.
-Or you could take the job, I'm guessing it's an opportunity of a lifetime, and break up with him because you a LDR may not be for either of you. .....
My first suggestion is the LDR, that is if you can both handle it, that would be something to discuss amongst yourselves.
If that's not an option, then I would honestly pick your career. Why? Because you two have only been together for a year so it's still way too early in the relationship to make any future judgements. Not to mention you guys are already moving pretty fast, 5 months of dating then moving in together. What happens if you pass up the job, move with him, can't find work or not what you like to do, and then in the event of a break-up you have to pack up and move back to your home state? Been there done that, chose love over a career and regretted it every step of the way. Now if you guys had been together say 4 years already then there would be no questioning it.
Make a wise decision.
...............................
|
