A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been having this ongoing issue with my fiancee... we've been together a little over a year, just recently engaged and recently pregnant. The pregnancy was a surprise, but we're both happy about it. Now, what is happening is that our sex life is not what it use to be where we went from making love 4-5 times per week to nothing at all. I don't have much of a drive during my pregnancy! But my fiancee has always been very sexual and when he's tried in the past two weeks I just haddn't had the desire and I've been feeling extremely tired. I don't know if he truly understands what I'm going through despite the fact that we've talked about it... what really bugs me is that I use to think he was a sex addict and now we've gone to having no sex... also the fact that he spends soooo much tim on the internet... sometimes on porn sites, other times-who knows?! I don't know why I am having trust issues with him! I am getting frustrated and don't know if I should just let it go or confront him on all this?!? (sorry if it's too long!)
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female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (15 July 2007):
 Heya hunni,
I am 6 months pregnant right now and I am NEVER in the mood for sex. I feel guilty half the time because I feel I am being unfair on my partner. My midwife says it's completely normal for your sex drive to drop.
To begin with me and my partner snapped at each other a lot because I felt pushed in to sex and he felt I didn't want him anymore. Not true in either case. We sat and talked and I explained that I didn't see the point in me putting out if I wasn't in the mood as he would be able to tell I wasn't in to it 100%.
I still don't think my guy is totally happy with it but there isn't much I can do about it.
Being pregnant really takes its toll on your. I never ever thought I could sleep as much as I do in my life. Even when I was a teen I never felt as tired as I have since I fell pregnant.
Talk to him about the sites he visits. I have said to my guy he can please himself when I'm not in the mood and can use porn but I don't want to feel I'm left on the shelf carrying his child while he goes off and pleases himself over other females like on sex sites or phone lines.
I was given a book in my notes pack explaining everything from conception to after birth for my point of view and they had a bit for dad's in it explaining what us mummies will be going through and how they can help. I would suggest maybe trying to get him something like that. Or take him with you to see your midwife and chat to her about the lack of sex and strain on your relationship.
Good luck hunni.
Drop me a line if you want to chat more :)
xxxxxxxxxx
A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (12 July 2007):
 Listen sweetheart you are just being normal, your body is changing and so are all the hormones raging around in it.
After I found out I was pregnant I really didn't feel like sex and when I did my then partner didn't want to touch for fear of hurting the baby, crazy I know because at the time I was aching for sex and he wouldn't hear of it.
I would suggest getting both of you to talk to a midwife or doctor and by listening to a professional I think your fiance will start to understand the changes your body is going through.
Get a DVD on loan or something and get some books in the house to show how your body is going to change.
You have got engaged and pregnant all at once and so just please relax sweetheart, all this stress is not good for you or your baby.
How far along are you?
Morning sickness can play havoc with feelings for sex or anything else come to that matter.
Just keep talking and if he is looking at porn to pleasure himself then don't stress too much right now.
If after the baby is born you still dont' want sex don't be surprised as it is a culture shock for all new parents and most of the time you are too knackered to do it any way.
Don't forget trying to get some couple time though so if some doting grandparents offer to have baby, let them as you need a good support network around you for those times when you just want to chill out together OK.
I wish you well and btw congratulations, you have a new little life growing inside of you and when he or she comes out there is nothing quite like it, a beautiful baby so all the bad backs and aches and pains and morning sickness are quickly forgotten as you have something so wonderful instead, never forget that and btw don't panic about childbirth either, millions of women do it every year and we all cope and then go on to have loads more so it is not as terrible as some women will sometimes tell you and others will say it is wonderful.
Sweetheart it will be your special time so just enjoy it as you get a wonderful little bundle at the end of it so no one will ever change it for the world.
Take care and keep us posted on your progress eh!
BFN
Country Woman
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