A
female
age
,
*oppycat
writes:I have been married for 20 years. I knew before we married I was doing the wrong thing but still went ahead as I hoped my feelings for him would grow. My husband had been married before and his ex wife was divorcing him when we met. He has a 22 year daughter from his first marriage.We went on to have 2 wonderful childen, a girl who is now 19 and a son who is 14.My husband has always insisted on taking control of money including my wages (I have worked full time all through our married life). The problem is he has always managed money poorly and has always run up debt, refusing to let me take over financial affairs. He seems to think that any money that comes into the house should end up in his pocket, including my daughter's student loan. He has already 'borrowed' £150 off her and not paid it back. He refuses to carry out any maintenance on the home and it is in a bad state of disrepair with damp and mould on ceilings and walls.I have lost all respect for him, not only because of what I have mentioned above, but he is grossly overweight and showers on average once a week. Despite all of this, I am finding it so hard to say to him that I don't love him any more and that I want to start my life afresh without him, simply because I don't want to hurt his feelings. At the same time, I so badly want him to leave. I can't speak to any of my friends about this as they are all joint friends. I would really appreciate some advice.
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affair, debt, ex-wife, his ex, money, overweight Reply to this Question
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reader, poppycat +, writes (12 January 2009):
poppycat is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank's Gina, that does help. I think I just needed to be told to do exactly what I was thinking!
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