A
male
age
41-50,
*xtremityman
writes:I have a psychotic mental disorder that had me very busy in delusional thinking until just recently when I finally found the right medication at age 30. My life isn't a disaster, but I managed to make mistakes and mess it up temporarily.I've since stabilized but then had trouble searching through career options because I have no interests, it seems. I have no burning desires in me, and there is an empty hole in my life that wasn't there before. I feel like my life is about nothing in particular, and I am no one in particular. I'll concede that more recently (since age 18) my life was about the delusions, and for these last 12 years I've been "about" some delusional pursuit in one way or another.Further, I used to burn for various women, and I used to be hypersexual. That seriously tapered off, along with my sex drive (both due to a mid-life crisis and my anti-psychotic medication), and now a girlfriend isn't a must-have. I still fancy women, but a girlfriend is a would-be-nice, and I can imagine living on without one. Through the shock of coming to the world, I don't burn for love or life anymore. I feel as though either my passion is gone, or was artificial, and was never really due to exist in the first place.A new world of feelings surrounds me. Becoming chemically well in the mind has been a blessed upset to my way of life. Despite the jolt, I don't fit the profiles for depression or post-traumatic stress disorder. Being born to the world at the age of 30, I suddenly feel as though I have little or no interest in anything. I still like some things, and I still love my mother and father. But it is unsettling to be unable to find a hobby that holds my interest, and I would like to love again.Will I be bored and unenthusiastic about love and life forever? Or do people often experience a big life change, lose interest in love and life, and then find a new way to be and pick it all back up again? I would prefer to hear real-life experiences. I too can BS myself either way, so a well-intended, well-formed suggestion with supporting logical arguments would be appreciated but won't help me.
View related questions:
sex drive Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, extremityman +, writes (5 December 2008):
extremityman is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you Aunt Em. I still have the same problem here a month later but it's not as bad. I appreciate your input.
A
female
reader, Aunt ~ Em  +, writes (27 October 2008):
 Well, I may be perhaps a little young to answer this but I'll give it my best shot as no one else has tried yet.
I'm no psychologist, I only have an AS level from college, so I'm hardly qualified to talk about mental disorders.
Still. If you use the phrase "born into the world at 30"... well, babies have no interest, no plans no perspective, it's all relative to what they learn around themselves, it takes time. Hell, I'm turning 20 in January and I've only just made up my mind about university...
It's going to take time for you to figure out your wants and needs again. So start with the simple things... What do you like for breakfast, I mean what makes you wake up and want to make it and it'll make you feel good for the rest of the day... in fact, what do you like to cook? Do you even like cooking? Where do you like to dine out? Would you be interested in being a chef?
Surround yourself with textures and colours and new ideas and read life magazines, watch the news, join groups and try new activities, who knows who you'll meet! Something's going to inspire you eventually. I'm sure Isaac Newton had no real direction until the apple fell on his head. And if what goes up must come down... then the seeds we plant down in the ground are most certainly gonna spring back up.
Stop fretting about wanting to like something and start testing everything and anything! This world is full of opportunities these days, you can be whatever you want. Just find out what that is. No matter how long it takes.
So in answer. I don't think you'll live passionlessly forever. Unless you realise that you have a passion for sitting in dark corners alone.
Best of luck to you. And try windsurfing - be a surf instructor. =]
...............................
|
