A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Last year i met this guy and i didnt know he was engaged,we were seeing each other almost every night in my place,we were getting on with each other so well and after 5-6 weeks his fiance called me and told me that they are engaged but i didnt tell her who i am and i told her that i am just a friend. The next day he came and told me that he is engaged and he didnt tell me because he didnt want to lose me and he realy likes me but his engagement is arranged and he is not even sure if he gets married to her or not.i didnt know what to do and what to say because i wanted him too and liked him a lot, told him that we will see. We were still seeing each other 3-4 times a week mostly at night 3 months past and one day he told me that he is in love with me in fact he fall in love with me from the first sight.To be honest i was feeling the same i started to have strong feelings for him and i was in love with him too.one day he told me he is going to go away for a week or so and disapeard for 2 weeks,his mobile was swiched off during that 2 weeks i was going through hell i was so used to having him around and i was missing him so badly,he returned and told me that he got marrid,i heard my heart breaking in to pieces.i cried and cried but that was it and still i couldnt stop seeing him and so could,nt he and he was saying that he dosnt love her and he loves me, its a year now and we were still together,going out,doing things together,we had the greatest sex together and he was saying that he dosent sleep with his wife and he sleeps in the couch. i was satisfied but there were few things that was bothering me,he did said that he sometimes sleep with her because he has to and i couldnt bear sharing him with other women.I really love him, he makes me feel the way that no one has ever did. He was claiming that he loves me more than even i love him and he can kill for me and he can die for me. Recently i was reading a lot in this website about these married men and their lies so i decided to break up with him because it was too much and i cannot deal with it any more. I do enjoy spending time with him and i do love him but he has wants different things and i want different, what i figured is that he wants to keep his wife and be married to her and he wants me to be the one to fulfil the emptiness that his wife cant give him as he says his wife is really young and doesn't know how to treat him but what i wanted was that, i thought because we are in love with each other so we will get somewhere but i was wrong so i broke up with him and he was so upset. For the last few days I havent slept or eaten properly and i dont have even a crying shoulder to share everything with, i dont even have friends and the time i met him i was so vulnerable because i got divorced from my husband and i needed someone to love me and care for me. I have 2 kids too. I really dont know how to move on with my life, i am feeling extremly down and depressed.Have i done a right thing?
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broke up, depressed, divorce, engaged, fiance, move on Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2009): whoever heard of newly weds not having sex...only the original posters married lover? can you see how riduculous this is. this man is lying and you are just lapping this up. why? so that you can justify still sleeping with him. you have 2 kids for goodness sake. do you think their lives are not going to be turned upside down by you and this married man. please if anything take their innocent lives into account. your married man will not leave his new wife. he made a choice when he decided to marry her. he will not choose you over her. he may still want to have sex with you, but you will never replace his wife. and i think you realise this.
A
female
reader, babymama99  +, writes (30 May 2009):
 YES! you did the right thing. I know it hurt right now but it will get better. You have finally stood up and said "I'm not going to take this any more! I deserve to have someone love me ALL the time, not part of the time.
The fact that he was never faithful to his wife and never had any intention of being faithful tells you what kind of a man he is.
You dodged a bullet with this one and I applaud you for finally standing up for your self and your children because this part time lover is such a bad influence on them.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (30 May 2009):
 I'm so sorry that you're going through this. *hug* I know it hurts right now but it will get a little easier every day. Take care of yourself and things will start looking up.
With that said, you absolutely did the right thing. You figured out the truth behind his lies and decided not to settle for half a loaf. That takes a lot of courage!
You are on your way to finding real love that is 100% for you.
Good luck.
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