A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, I have found out that my wife of 6 months kissed another man when on a night out with friends. I only found out as my 18 month old son was playing with her phone. I took the phone off him as I didn't want him to break it and found that he was in her outbox and the message he was on read 'That was the worst kiss I've ever had.' I want to know where the idea of a 4some came from!'I have yet to confront her about this, as there may be a simple explanation for the text. I hope you can advise me on my next step.
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female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (30 January 2009):
 I think you have had some fantastic advice from the other aunts but I am still trying to get my head round the fact that this kiss that happened on a night out with the girls has lead to her giving our her mobile number.
Was this kiss with someone she knew or not?
I think the way in which deejuliet said about the conversation to get to the bottom of what happened is fantastic.
It is hard to remain calm when your head is swimming around in circles and your stomach is churning.
Yes find out the truth and then you can talk it through, one thing I would say is let her talk and don't interrupt her it is one thing I learned through couple counselling, give her 5 or 10 minutes to talk and remain quiet during that time, it won't be easy and then you talk, calmly and not with anger or accusation.
Perhaps having a night out together for a meal whilst someone babysits may help as it sounds to me like she has been at home with the baby and let her hair down but don't always let it be with the girls, let her know you still love her and that you want to spend some alone time with her.
BFN
Country Woman
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2009): Well, calm down, if possible and try to find out what this is all about. Tell her about how you happened to find out and look at her reaction and listen to her explanation and her body language will tell you too if she is honest or if she tells you fibs.
Also, eve if she had cheated, a drunken kiss is a mistake but means nothing, if there was more behind it, you would have to cool down and think if you really wanna be with her. Good luck
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A
female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (30 January 2009):
 If you dont talk to her it will fester and grow and you will begin to imagine all sorts of awful things that probably arent true. Talk to her. Aproach her gently and non confrontationally. Dont start a conversation with "Did you kiss someone else?" or "Are you cheating on me?" Tell her exactly what you told us. "I didnt mean to snoop, honey, but Jason was playing with your phone and when I took it away from him I saw a text to some guy about a bad kiss. It kind of got me worried. Can you tell me what it means please, cause its got me all tied in knots."
And my question for you, sir, is what 4some? Was that in the text, too? Or something else?
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (30 January 2009):
Sounds like it wasn't a good kiss then...
What COULD well have happened was that he basically pounced on her and then he's texting her asking for more.
She's basically telling him to piss off and die in a gutter in the text you read.
Tell her that you found the text accidentally and you just want her to tell you what happened. Tell her that she should never ever be worried you'll get angry or over react if some low life came on to her. It's hardly her fault if she was chatting to someone and he took it too far.
Be open and calm with her and just tell her you want to know what's going on.
Then make sure you are being a brilliant husband and telling her how gorgeous she is and flirting with her. There is nothing wrong with married people having a bit of a flirt but their other half should always be the one they mean it with most.
Good Luck!! xx
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