A
female
age
36-40,
*essbelle
writes:My bf and I have worked through so much in the last six years and finally this last school year (he is actually graduating in a few days and I have another semester) we have had the time to do a lot of fun things. We pretty much live at my place, but he goes to his school to hang out with the guys sometimes. Over the holiday I went home a few days before he did and I wasn't gone buy a half a day and he was getting smashed and going out to bars where there is dancing. He has never felt comfortable and has only ever dirty danced with me. He confessed to me that while drunk he danced really raunchy with a girl whose name popped up several years ago as the girl in the photo w/him that looked really sketchy...also really drunk. When he confessed, he was crying, telling me he was sick to his stomach and begging me to forgive him....said he would do anything. He even came to my house at home and spoke to both of my parents...said he made a mistake and asked forgiveness and said nothing like this will ever happen again. I did break it off for a time this summer due to his selfish behavior. He is not the most generous or thoughtful guy, but I have never doubted his love for me. I have thought that he suffers from depression somewhat and he doesn't have many friends. Maybe he was trying to look cool by dancing and when he is drunk, he really loses it. He says since I agreed to forgive him that he has decided to live his life differently, that he knows how selfish he has been and he is changed. He seems sincere, but I don't know if I am doing the right thing. Do you think he is being truthful? Am I being too gullible here?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 December 2009):
Well he didn't cheat, and owned up to having danced like he did very quickly, and even spoke to both of your parents to ask for forgiveness, so it's safe to say that he's really into you I think. He has even admitted his selfishness and is trying to change, which takes a lot for a guy to do. I think that you can afford to give him another chance. But remember that a man can be measured by his actions, not his words. That means that you need to watch how he treats you, not just listen to what he says. If his actions change, then continue. But if he slips into his selfish ways again, ditch him permanently.
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