A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I have a problem. I'm a straight female who I think has feelings for her male straight best friend. I think about pete* him all the time and we talk everyday, he's always been there for me and just recently I think i've realised that I may have feelings for him; more than just a friendship. The problem is at the moment i'm not sexually attracted to pete*, Iv'e had dreams about kissing him though, so i dont know what that means. He's really shy and I think possibly part of me wants to be his girlfriend because I feel sorry for him, but I also think his shyness is kinda cute!! Anyway, people have told me that he likes me as more than a friend, and all signs indicate this way. I recently kissed his best friend (big drunken mistake) and he got very jealous. In the past he has almost tried it on with me, we are always flirting, the other day I looked over at him giving me a sort of longing look, and we've had a few of thoes akward/cute moments. He also broke up with a girl at uiversity recently because he was 'still in love with a girl at home.' Pete* is really shy and so am I when it comes to talking about my feelings, a friend said to me that prehaps pete* only thinks all I could ever see him of is as a friend, so thats why he says nothing. I really dont know where to take it, if I can tell him how I feel. I also don't know whether this is all just because i've never had a boyfriend before and am going to university soon, am I prehaps just looking for a boyfriend? I dont want to seem like i'm leading him on or being cruel beacause I actually dont know how he feels about me. I also dont want to ruin a great friendship. I do really think we could make each other so happy and I cant imagine him not my life. I feel like I need more of him than just a friend, he's the ideal guy in almost every way. So I need some advice on if I REALLY do have feelings for him as more than a friend, even though i'm not sexually attracted to him. If I should say anything and how I can find out if he feels the same way. I need some help!! thanks guys
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best friend, broke up, drunk, flirt, jealous, kissing, never had a boyfriend, shy, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): Dear, you are probably wishing to be 'more than friends' with pete. Life is amazingly short, and friends are amazingly worthwhile. You might just let your feelings go as a secret gift for your friend. You could also be honest and say how you're feeling, but you might risk destabilizing a friendship.
Take it from a gay man with deep feelings for his closest straight male friend.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): Thanks for the advice Tom, definately the best peice of advice i've had, and I think I will just carry on as normal and see how it goes. Your right though, he does need to make the first move! best wishes xxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): Well, anon, if you are going to be attending the same university, then you will be seeing more of him on a regular basis. You will have more time to decide how you feel. I would go with it as it is now, and stay friends...on your part. It should be up to him to make the first statements about wanting to be more than friends. If he does not, he is either extremely shy, or he is unsure, himself. Anyway, wait and see how it goes. I perceive you also need more time to decide how you feel, so, I do not advise making any overtures of greater affection as of yet. Best wishes, Tom.
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