A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i am a 30 yr old female. Married with 1 little girl. My husband is a preacher and we married young. He is 2yrs yonger than me and we got married when I found that i was pregnant. Now I have met some one who I feel is the one for me. My husband also found out about the other person but he said he was not going to give up on his family and his marriage. He said he forgives me but the problem is I have feeling for the other person. What do I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008): Follow your heart. You are guaranteed real happiness that way. Not the prison sentence you are in. Your daughter is very young and will be more able to adapt more than you may dare to hope.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008): Stay well away from, you are setting yourself up for misery and heartbreak, read through all the other stories of cheats and liars on this site and waken yourself to reality.The other person knows you are cheating, he may think once a cheater always a cheater, you are lucky your husband can even begin to forgive you many men would throw you to the lions, then would this other man take on your little girl and all the responsability that comes with a ready made family. Take a long hard look before you leap as once you go there is no going back. I wish you all the best as you are going to need it.
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A
female
reader, Teacake +, writes (17 November 2008):
 I hate to say this and I have never thought this before, because the children always come first, but a child needs to have happy parents who love each other.
This is not the case with you. Seems like you are in a marriage not based on love and I have a feeling your husband is a major control freak.
Stand up for yourself and tell him that you don't love him and you plan to continue seeing the other man. If he can live with that, fine otherwise he is free to divorce you.
Being in a marriage that feels like a prison is no life and not good for your child either. Do what you want in this case and perhaps he will divorce you. If he becomes abusive you have grounds to divorce him.
Whatever you do, what you tell the husband needs to be done in a way that doesn't cause violence or anger. Don't bad mouth him. JUst tell him you were both young, got married because of the baby and not because you loved each other.
Tell him he deserves a woman who loves him and you don't, and he also deserves to be happy, which he can't with you. Make it seem as if this is best for him, but you plan to see the other man because the marriage isn't important to you. THe child is, he isn't? You can't help it if you don't love him. Maybe you might even know of someone you could fix him up with? Or ask him if there is a woman who he would like to get to know better. This is about his ego, control and not about love. Also tell him having 2 unhappy parents is not good for a child . Something like that.
Basically, this marriage is not worth saving. I can't tell you how many friends have told me that they wish their parents would have divorced rather than stay together for the children. GOOD LUCK!
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