A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm very confused about something but I'm scared that if I tell someone they'll think a lot less of me, so I'm seeking advice online. I've realized I've developed feelings for a 15 year old child. 3 years ago when I was 18, there was a 15 year boy who was interested in me, but I laughed about it and told him he was way too younng. Since then I've really regressed in my maturity. I feel like I have the emontional maturity of a 15 year old, I like to giggle have fun and be silly and I am not interested in sex. I think I am emotionally immature because I didn't get my liscense until I was 19, my mother didn't let me brush my own hair until I was in high school, my mother still insists on dropping me off at college etc.. so I think I can relate to the boy on the same emotional level. Is this a mild case of pedofilia or is it normal? Even though I felt too old the youth minister at my church insisted that my boyfriend and I join. Within the youth group everyone is very close, sometimes closer than family, we all lay our heads on each other, hug each other, hold hands..etc.. I think this is what caused me to develop feelings for the boy. I just realized that I was falling for him after staying 4 days in a cabin with him, praying with him, admiring him playing in the front yard from the balcony. Plus sometimes the young teenagers like him are given authority over the older ones. The youth mininister has a 17 year old son who is dating a 13 year old and a lot of people look down on it. The way I feel about this 15 year old is different then how I feel about my own boyfriend. When my boyfriend holds my hand or puts his arm around me, it feels normal, natural. Yet, I long to hug this child, to hold his hand. When he holds my hand it thrills me, and I have never understood in the past why people thought that holding hands was such a big deal but now I do. My boyfriend knows about this infatuation abnd thinks that it is normal. In fact he loves the kid and says that he understands why I feel that way. I hinted to my mom that I had feelings for the boy and she constanly reminds me "he's just a little boy" "he's just a baby, you are a grown woman" Most women I know my age are much more mature and settled down, I have no business daydreaming over a 15 year old. I have dreams where I go to kiss him on the cheek, (which would be normal among the youth at my church) but he kisses me lightly on the mouth. My mom says this is why we shouldn't mix so many age groups together in the youth group and that I should remember that young people have desires and to be careful about letting young boys hug and love all over me. I'm thinking about going to a counselor to get help. Yet at the same time I wonder if there is anything that wrong..I don't think it would be too weird if I married him when he's 18 and I'm 24.. yet I know it is weird that I am thinking about marriage at this stage. Any advice, opinions, etc?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): Stop calling him a child, I remember being 15 and your not a child at that age. But yes you are too old for him, wait till he's 16 at least till you do anything.
The 17 and 13 year old is sick and your sitatuon MUCH BETTER THAN THEIRS.
A
female
reader, Laura M  +, writes (16 June 2009):
hey,well two of my friends are going out with 15 year old boys, were are all 18. but still, yes they do get teased, but if you can handle it then i guess it doesnt matter. Age is not a barrier, its merely a number.If you feel that you attracting is that strong that you can withstand a few smirk comments when you tell your mates etc,, then i reckon you should go ahead. My friend have managed it easily, and they are both in relations lasting longer then a year! I think u should go for it...:)
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (16 June 2009):
 i don't think it's wrong i mean it's not that much of an age gap i mean i find young lads attractive although i don't fancy them. i mean you keep referring to this 15 year old as a child? why do you do that? why not young lad or something.i think this is making you feel more like a pedofile because you keep calling him a child 15 year old child. i mean you're parents can't do anything this is your life. maybe you just find attractive because of the youth group and you know alot about him.he's not a baby maybe you find him mature for a 15 year old. but you clearly think you're wrong to like him as you keep calling him a child. you just should do what you feel is best for you.Anyways hope this helps hun. good luck :) x x x x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): When a grown man talks about his attraction to a 15yo girl, he won't get a very positive reaction. I don't think it should be any different the other way.
Maybe you have perfectly "noble" intentions for this boy . . . but so do a lot of those grown men eyeing the 15yo girls. The important thing is not what you want or feel, it's what the 15yo person is going to be faced with. They are not adults and they should not be forced to deal with the issues that it can bring up.
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