A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel like a looser.I have complex ongoing family issues. Everyone is too preoccupied dealing with their own problems - even I put effort into helping out my mum and sister etcetc to the point where it's adversely affecting my life. I feel like I should help them, and so i do. However despite the personal sacrifices I make for them, I do not feel in any way appreciated. In fact, when I deffered from school to take care of things at home for my mum, she responded my kicking me out of the house. She then spent the next month calling me literally 20 times a day, claiming that I 'abandoned' her. When I organised and paid for flights and accomodation to take my sister for a holiday (at her own request) at the last minute she told me she would rather stay home and hang out with her friends than with me.I have never had anyone that I was/am really close too. I have friends, but all we do is eat and get drunk together. I don't really understand how you're supposed to talk to people about your issues? How do you even bring that up? "Hey, so.. I have been heartbreakingly disapointed by everyone I have ever cared about." ? It seems weird.Also, have never had a boyfriend, never even been kissed. Boys in general kind of scare me, all new people scare me. I have major issues being friendly to people.. In the past two years I have only made one new friend. Which is really sad.I don;t really know whats wrong with me. I seem to be focusing all my energy on people who dont give a shit about me. Im scared of social events and would rather be on my own than in a potentially awkward situation.. but am in all honestly extremely lonely. I'm not very attractive, and kind of chubby. I don;t think this has anything to do with why my life is the way that it is right now, but it definately feels like theres a strong coralation there.It's a saturday night and i'm home alone writing this. What the fuck is wrong with me?
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female
reader, Alba5  +, writes (27 August 2011):
You are not a loser and nota alone. You have many good qualities that you listed, you are caring and generous.
However I do feel that your Mum and sister are emotionally abusing you and you need to learn to say "No" to them as they are really taking advantage of your kindness and when they get it they don't need you.
Making good friends is difficult so see if there are any clubs or socities in your local area that could interest you or you could try and speak with the friends that you have got, if they are your real friends they would want to hear about your feelings and they would want to help and advise you.
Getting drunk often can also lead to depression when you are hungover etc so maybe if you cut down things might look a little brighter. Good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011): Aw bless you, there's nothing wrong with you, you just haven't found your niche in life yetYour family sound completely selfish but at least you have left home now.First decide what you want from life, where you want to be in 5 years and how you want to look. What do you enjoy doing? Alot your age like to get drunk but this isnt what you like by the sounds of it. Make a list of what you want to do and how to achieve the change. Make another of what you dont want to be and things you dont enjoy.Then start the life you want to have step by step. Be confident and take control of your life, this will make you happier. You sound a kind and generous person and you will find people who appreciate you when your in the right place.Good luck xx
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A
female
reader, betty blue +, writes (27 August 2011):
Sounds like you may be shy and have trouble trusting people because your own family have let you down. Have you looked at working on your self esteem maybe a course or get a book. You sound a caring person and there are many people out there that feel the same as you so don't think you are alone. Have you thought of Joining a class of some sort . It might help you make some more friends. X
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