A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a women at my best friends wedding,we immediately started going out and things were going extremely good.Until tonight,she is going for an interview for a job in a town 600 miles away. What am I to do,should I be calm about it and wish her good luck,only hoping she stays or do I tell her I want her to stay?I am really falling hard for this girl!
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (29 April 2010):
 Sorry to be the killjoy again. Did she stay because of you, or because going away didn't really go well with her personal plans?
Man, YOU HAVE TO KNOW FOR SURE WHETHER SHE IS INTO YOU OR NOT. Don't just react to the circumstances.
A
female
reader, hpoco  +, writes (28 April 2010):
 Congrats, maybe its meant to be :-)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey guys,good news,she was offered the job and after sorting accomodation and even paying a deposit,she decided to stay afterall and cancelled everything!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (15 April 2010):
Again, the physical distance is not what matters.
Maybe it's futile now, but I guess you're sort of avoiding the difficult issue. Did she leave because she didn't care that much about you, or because she had just met you? You need to determine that for your own good.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey guys,bad news,she got the job and is starting 1 May.Things are over before anything really started!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advise guys and girls,she is goiong tomorrow.will see her again when she comes back.Will keep you up to date with what's going on!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (13 April 2010):
Physical distance doesn't matter that much if two people really love each other. If you love the girl, and your only hope of seeing her is sailing all the way to China on a can of tuna, you do it, and the perils and hazards become just simple and funny things to tell your love.
Pay attention to this job she is applying for. Does it mean that her life is moving in a different direction? How long have you been seeing each other? If you met three weeks ago, then you can't expect her to change her plans just for someone she just met. Now, if you've been seeing each other and you've been connecting terribly well for, say, six months, and then she leaves, that's a huge warning sign that you're more into her than she's into you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): You are to support her! If you care for her as much as you say then don't be selfish. If you care for her you want what is best for her, and if she really wants this job you definitely should support her! Then after you know whether or not she got the job, deal with it from there. It's not worth stressing yourself out about what will happen if she leaves, she might as well not get the job, or get it and figure out she'd rather stay.If she stays only for you you will always know this and might feel guilty after a while because you held her back. She could also grow resentment towards you if you made her stay when she really wanted to go. Let it be HER decision whether or not your beginning relationship is worth not taking this job.
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289  +, writes (13 April 2010):
What at your age is stopping you from moving with her? No reason that you need to "tell" her to stay (FYI: that's a crappy idea... she'll resent you later for it... it's a NO WIN). In your mid to late 20's you should be able to move, but can you get a job? It's probably far too early in the relationship to even suggest sharing a place, so find roommates and rent a room in a house... If she's (possibly) "the one" go for it! Otherwise you'll likely regret it for a long time! Take the risk!
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A
female
reader, anongirl +, writes (13 April 2010):
Maybe you can see if you could move along with her? See if there's anyway possible for that to happen, especially if she means as much to you as you say.
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A
female
reader, hpoco +, writes (13 April 2010):
Be honest and tell her that while you support her in her career hopes, you really hope she doesn't get THIS particular job. If you don't let her know that you absolutely want her to stay... well she won't know, and then what you want won't matter at all.
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