A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in a horrible mess.iv already fallen for one teacher and now im falling for my form tutor. hes like 41 ands im 15. BIG diffrence. he is married with 3 kids. The thing i dont get thou is, he flirts with me and like always seems to touch me, like put his hand on my shoulder or bump me when he walks past. my best mate says he fancies me. she can so tell becuase (he is a down to earth teacher anyway) he always asks around the class whos got a boyfriend.he is secretly aiming it at me, but asks everyone so he dont make it obvious. he does the same with other questions like what you do last night? what you doin at the weekend? any gossip? and listens over when i speek to my mates :S im really liking him, i even had a dream he came on to me last night!!! some how im freaked out yet i still wouldnt mind if he did.theres just something about him . his smile and personality i think :S Help ? what do i do :( ??????????
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou everyone for what use have said , use all defintly know what im talking about and understand my situation, i dont think he is stupid enough to make a move but he is very flirty , i think he just likes the attention and thinks i fancy him, could be.
i do have a laugh with my mates about it and we do it with other teachers too talk about them and some of the phitt ones lol .
the reason i wrote in about this is to get advice and thts what use have gaven me :) thanks if i have any more problems i know who to write too xx
A
female
reader, Snickerdoodle  +, writes (5 February 2008):
 Don't feel alone. I'm fifteen and I have a huge thing for one of my teachers in his forties, too.You can't help who you're attracted to, but he IS your teacher, so getting into a romantic relationship with him is illegal while you both are at the same school. Not to mention the gigantic age difference between the two of you--and you're not even an adult yet.But that's just the logical side of me talking. On the other hand, I know what it's like to think every move your teacher makes must be towards you. By what you describe, I think he could be attracted to you, and that's probably what you want. Again, you can't help who you're attracted to, so there's always a chance he might actually fancy you.The huge thing is, though, that he's married. If he weren't married, I'd probably suggest waiting things out until you graduate and are an adult and then trying to see how he feels about you. But he has a wife at home and he has children with her. He has a family. At the risk of sounding mean, I highly doubt a man in his forties would leave his wife whom he has three children with for one of his fifteen year old students. And if he was willing to cheat on his wife to have some sort of affair with you, that wouldn't be saying anything good about his character, and I doubt that's the kind of relationship you want to get into.I know it's hard, but there isn't much you can do in your situation right now. Should anything happen between you two now, not only would he risk losing his job, but also his family, any good reputation he may have, etc. It actually makes me sad to say this (I know how it kills when someone tells you to just move on from someone), but the best thing to do is to try and get him out of your head. It's way easier said than done, but it's for the best.Feel free to message me if you want to talk more : )
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A
female
reader, heartsick +, writes (5 February 2008):
When you're 15 and he's 41, most people are going to assume it's you with the crush - but if what you say is true about the kind of conversations he's having, perhaps he DOES have an interest in you. BUT!!! There are lots of reasons why he shouldn't be acting as he is.He's married with children, he is a teacher, he's a lot older than you and he's making a bit of a prat of himself too!It sounds to me like you weren't interested in him until you became aware of how he might feel about you. It feels really good when you know someone is interested in you. He won't be the last!! Take it as a compliment, have a laugh about it with your friends, accept it as a confidence boost, maybe even a fantasy - but don't let yourself be on your own with him. Think about it - how could this work out? What if he asked you out on a date? He can't take you out in public - he couldn't risk that. So you'd have to hide away somewhere. Maybe he'd take you on a drive in his car and try it on with you. Yeuch!!! You deserve better than that!Even if he did try to take you out on a date, it would all be a dodgy secret. You might not even be the first.You'll get lots of people telling you it's wrong to consider a relationship with him, and I would agree. Because it is unlikely to be good for YOU, not just because people don't understand.And if you ask me...... he doesn't sound like much of a catch. I reckon you could do a lot better.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 February 2008):
 We get a gazillion postings from teens who have crushes on their teachers. What do you do? Not a blamed thing my dear. Just ride it it out, it will pass. Trust me, he is not interested in you THAT way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): Okii... you cant help who u fall for! If it woz me i would tlk 2 him find out whats goin on. So you know where you stand. If he feels the same way then tel him to try and stop the way hes acting, hes married nothing can happen, but the way hes acting is not helping u with ur feelings!
Try hanging out with lads your own age, to get him out of your head..
good luck x
Keep me posted on what happens (:
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): this wont help but hes 35 years older then you, try to get away from him and he sounds like a pervert/peaodphile too
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