A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i really like by best guy friend but he doesn't like me. i have liked him for a few months well maybe 6 months now. and i told him about 1 month ago, (nothing is or feels different) but just today i found out he has a girlfriend and he never told me and i really like him he is perfect... (to me)he is so nice and sweet but the more im with him the more i know we will never be together... i have liked him more then anyone and he knows that..... and i think why like him when i know we with never be... but i JUST CANT get over him he is always there for me 24/7 but lately im not happy anymore and i think its cause of him... i just dont know what to do anymore PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
View related questions:
best friend, has a girlfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2008): Well i think that its natural to feel that way its happened to me b4 i think u just need i knw its a little bit forward but get him in a sexual place and maybe try to kiss him and c wht he'l do,and then u'l knw.
A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (3 September 2008):
 This is completely normal, don't worry. Best friends are best friends for a reason. They will almost never let you down. They will ALWAYS be for you when you have a problem. They will be nice to you most of the time. And when you two get into a fight, you will likely try to make up.
So it's understandable to get feelings for them. They're compatible with you and you two get along together.
Don't blame him for your misery because that's entirely your fault. Sorry to be blunt, but it's true. A lot of best friends drift apart when one confesses love to the other, but he stayed true to himself because he values his friendship too much that he doesn't want to go away for this. And he hasn't done any wrong. He has been a great friend, the only thing is that he doesn't feel like you do for him.
I also had a crush on one of my best friends for a while, around your age. He also got a girlfriend around the time too. I also realized that we couldn't ever be together but unlike you I never told him (i told him years later, though). When he got a girlfriend I got the reality of the situation, that we would never be together, so basically that was what made me get over him.
So you have to do the same. I think you're becoming miserable because in you there's still a small chance of hope that you two will get together like you want it to, so you don't want to move on. Just look at reality, now. You gotta see that if you keep on doing this that you might ruin your friendship. Please don't do it, it will be one of your biggest mistakes.
Now, try to focus yourself on somene else. Try to talk to other guys and see if a spark of romantic interest comes up. Also, don't compare anyone with your best friend because you will get nothing from there. Just focus your inerests in someone else who isn't your best friend. Also, lke the other auntie said, you gotta face the facts that he will have other girls in his life.
Don't ruin a great friendship just because he never returned the same feeling. Don't let this friend go, they don't come like that so easily.
...............................
A
male
reader, Rex0328 +, writes (3 September 2008):
No way I disagree with boopi. I have been in that spot before. What you really feel is this: You CAN be his friend but you CANNOT be just a friend. What will happen is that because of you staying around you will be the only one effected by hurt. He's fine because he likes being liked. Who doesn't. He probably doesn't know what he is doing Im not saying he is a bad guy. But I will say you do know what youre doing but dont know how. Here is a list that got me through the worst of you situation only mine was 3 yrs. So Im not asking Im telling you don't deny your feelings by selling yourself short to someone. You will only be happy by giving your all and the only way to give your all is if someone reciprocates.• Youre not a masochist• You have enough friends and those wont leave you hurt, used, or sexually frustrated.• You cannot be with someone that whenever he feels down he comes for your comfort to just reenergize for someone elses arms. Someone who treats him not so good.• I can think of more but consider these and this sayingOne likes to be likedOne loves to be lovedAnd one does not give their whole lives so that they'll get cheatedOr the whole If you love someone set them free...Hope I helped cuz it hurts
...............................
A
male
reader, boopi  +, writes (3 September 2008):
This is a yuk situation that no one wants to be in. But maybe you like this guy so much because you know you cannot have him. This sounds weird but many girls are like this when it comes to what they want. You do not want to sacrifice your relationship with him because you might just have a crush on him. You will have to learn to accept that there will be other girls in his life, but maybe when you both grow older you will fall for each other. Who knows. Just take each day as it comes and do right by him as he is your best friend. Best of luck!
...............................
|
