A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have extreme anxiety and nerves about "receiving" oral sex. I am 100% ok with the giving to my male partner, but when it comes to the thought of him giving to me I get really insecure about it. I have never received oral. With my ex bf of 4 years, we were very vanilla so it never came up, no pressure. But I'm now seeing this new guy, we've yet to have sex. I'm taking things slow and he knows sex is not on the table right now and he has not pressured me at all. He is a wonderful guy, but I get the impression that this is something he would be into and when/if the time comes, I don't want to be too nervous or freak out on him. All of my friends say that I am crazy for having not tried it yet, whether or not I like it, I should at least try it. Help! How do I loosen up and get over some of my worries? I am nervous about what a guy expects down there. I keep it neatly trimmed, but is that not enough for oral sex...do guys not like a little hair? And I'm paranoid that there will be a smell, and I know this is a natural insecurity for most woman...but how do I get over this or should I be concerned? What if I don't "taste" good...I would be mortified if he was grossed out. Any prep work I should do beforehand, if I think a certain night might happen sometime? All advice welcome!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2012): I feel the same was as you do... I shave everything down there just because I feel that I look and smell a lot cleaner (than with having hair.) To recieve oral sex grosses me out.I think that men do it because they think we like it, but it seems really nasty... I am embarassed, so I avoid it. I do love giving it tho! There are a lot of other ways express yourselves sexually. It's your body, so do what makes you feel comfortable. :D
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (9 March 2012):
 A woman's privates do have some degree of distinct "smell" and taste. For men who are accustomed to such, it will be no problem. All you need to do is cleanup well before. You should not douche or do anything unordinary. A nice, clean vulva is a pleasure to men with any experience and enjoyment pleasing his woman with oral.
Allow me to elaborate, as an older man who has been "down there" more than times than I'll detail. Even an hour or so after a nice washing and rinse, a woman's labia (lips) and vaginal opening will usually have a slightly musky odor. The taste might be called slightly acrid. The first lick is harder to describe, but I'll just call it the flavor of a woman. We don't mind.
If a man gives a thorough lick or two from about the vaginal opening up past the clitoris, all that possibly, mildly unpleasant part just goes away. I might secretively wipe-off my tongue after that first couple of licks, but after, it's all sweetness unless there is infection or something going on.
Any man who has ever been "down there" knows that a woman smells and tastes like a woman should, and most of us love it. Well, I suppose that I can only speak for myself, but I'm obviously not the only one.
The joy quickly becomes the exquisite pleasure that only cunnilingus can provide for you if the man knows what he is doing, and any concern about a little bit of healthy womanly taste and odor is simply unfounded. An experienced man loves it, and you may experience your best ever orgasms.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2012): i agree with Hobo. Have a shower and then you can relax that you are clean, trim if necessary, but essentially that's about it. consider the 69 position and then you can keep yourself busy as well if you want to distract yourself from your concerns.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (9 March 2012):
 If you don't like oral sex, say so.
If he likes to give you oral, take him at his word that he likes that and don't worry about being trimmed or whatever.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2012): Try to get more in tune with your body- men love the smell of women for the most part and you should love your own smell too. I wouldn't shave, just wash with water and wash the outside with a very mild soap, that is all you need. If your guy likes giving oral sex that is great- you just need to get used to the idea yourself and build up to it slowly. I'm not sure what you think of as "vanilla" but that usually means dominance etc.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2012): You are worrying too much, but I think you know this. I don't know the reason why you feel like this but from a practical point of view, there are a few things you can do to prepare. It goes without saying that you should be clean down there so have a shower before. Hygiene is the most important thing. If you sweat there or pee or anything you should wash again. As for hair, everyone has different tastes. What you do with your pubes is ultimately your choice, but you could also ask your guy if he has a preference. I used to think all guys liked girls to be clean shaven down there, until I met my boyfriend who told me that he likes a bit of bush and finds the bald look off-putting. Other guys are the other way around. Not being a guy, I can't comment on this but apparently many men find a woman's smell and taste a turn on. Unless you have some kind of infection or something, I wouldn't worry about how you smell down there. As long as you are clean, I'm sure he won't have a problem with it. Try to relax and enjoy yourself.
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