A
male
age
41-50,
*ilih0004
writes:I'm married and havin a one year old kid. Din wnt to get married bt ma gal forced me sayn if u love me u'v got to marry. And she wanted a kid out of love. Finally i found that im givin her every thing and i get nothing. I get blamed for every little wrong thing i do. And sarcastic words. Now i wanna leave her coz i hate her. I cant stop thinking hw much this woman used me. I gave up music, jobs and every shit i had. But finally i found i was fooling my self. Now i need my life back. Not with this woman. I really hate her now. I sometimes feel like beating her and going to jail is better than living like this. But the kid calms me down. He looks in to ma eyes. But i knw fighting is not a good thing. This woman knws she can piss me off soon so she always does it and forcing me to love back. Meanwhile i found another woman who likes me. Now she is helping me to stand and i knw she needs something from me. Im lost now. And broke too. I need to tlk with smbody abt this. THere are more things to say.This is just a summary. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, wtf did i do  +, writes (23 March 2009):
Man, I hear u. U just feel as though u were tryin to do what u thought a man ought to. Turns out that the best thing we can do is to have a back bone and say no. No, i don't want to be in this anymore.
It sucks being broke and attached and u want to just run/swim/fly away.
Pray for the words and the strength to find yourself again. That's what I'm gonna do. Cuz, I hate my wife. But I hate myself more for marrying her in the first place.
Oh well, life's a bitch and then you marry one!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2008): Go and see a lawyer babes. She manipulated you before, don't let her do it again. I think you are just bored because you found another woman to love. But that doesn't matter now. If you don't want your wife, and you like this other woman, then you must get a divorce. She cannot change your son's name without your permission. She cannot stop you from seeing your son. If you want you can sue for custody and get your son to live with you. You are the husband, you have rights over that child. She is talking crap, she is trying to frighten you. Go and see a lawyer, get a divorce and try to sue for part custody, so she can never take your son away from you. You need to get legal advice.
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A
male
reader, nilih0004 +, writes (13 October 2008):
nilih0004 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell thanks a lot. I need to continue bit. What i want is to be a good father to the child. But this woman says if you don't want me you leave but you cant see the child. Ans she is gonna change his name. It's really hard to move on with ma life now. I need more help in this case.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008): what female in her right mind would marry a wimp,force you to marry her did she tie your hands behind your back and drag you by your hair to the altar?you married her because you wanted too and now you want out
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008): There is absolutely no need to continue to live with someone that stresses you, angers you and brings out the worse in you. It is high time that you examine why you let yourself be dragged in this relationship, what stops you from the making of decisions, why you are indifferent to events that are incumbent on you. You were a consenting part of this agreement (your marriage) and are equally responsible for its realisation, the fact you were forced into is ridiculous, you must agree. Start taking responsibility for your actions, past and future and maybe it is best to distance yourself from your wife now before your violent intentions concretise. Maybe you are used to be told what to do since childhood but before taking someone's advice you must pass it through your own filtre and try to predict the consequences that directly and indirectly can touch you. The outcomes of accepting a marriage only for the partner's sake, as you see, is an unhappy union and dangers of your growing resentment escalating into an abuse. Try and refrain these impulses, realise that you conceded to this union, if you have anger management issues please treat them or at least ponder over them, start making small decisions in your life to exercise more your decision-making ability, and as the previos answerers noted, you can still be a good father to your child and develop a healthy relationship with your child, while you are separated from a partner that is unsuitable for you. I should add, don't let this experience have a rusting effect on you, destroying your future living and converting you into a bitter being. Fight for your growth and for securing your peace and to make better choices. Best wishes.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008): I say leave herIf you are unhappy consider alternativesBut be a responsible dad and make sure that you still do your share of looking after the babySearch for your happiness
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A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (12 October 2008):
 "Din wnt to get married bt ma gal forced me sayn if u love me u'v got to marry."That says it all really...You can't marry someone simply because they want you to...You can't give this woman what she wants (love) because you don't love her.You can still be a great father to your child and not be with the mother...It's time to be selfish and make yourself happy.
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