A
male
age
26-29,
*onfused001
writes:I am 21 and engaged and living with my fiancée and recently I went on a night out and after the end of the night I had missed my last train home and I didn't have the money to pay for or the thought of getting the £20 taxi home so my friend (female) said why don't I sleep at hers as it was only a 2 minute walk from where we had finished the night out so I accepted her offer and when we got back to hers she proceded to get undressed and into bed right in front of me and for some reason I didn't look away although I wanted not to look after this I got into bed next to her making sure i kept my underpants and shirt on and went to sleep then the next morning left having nothing happened through the night I went home and explained where I was and why I hadn't came home the night before and she forgave me. I just wonder whether in your opinion(s) whether I have cheated on my fiancée or not considering that no sexual acts occured. Thanks for all your replys
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2009): Lol!, Confused, you are hardly guilty of "infidelity". I would say you were a tremendous gentleman. Of course, you could have slept on the floor, but why, if you are the gentleman you were? lol,... I am not laughing at you, I am just amused by the whole situation and all the female responses that say you should have crawled under the doormat or something.....Not to worry, mate, I would never sleep on the floor if I was offered a nice comfy bed. And I have actually had this happen. I was so exhausted that I just went straight to sleep. Nothing else was on my mind...or hers. We were just good friends.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2009): Instead of beating yourself up, you should feel perefctly fine. By the sound of it, you weren't even tempted to succumb to what can probably be interpreted as a subtle if far from blatant come-on from your friend. (I'm not saying that undressing in front of you and climbing into bed beside you was definitely a come-on, but a hell of a lot of people would see it that way.) It's clear that you've no intention of cheating. If your fiance's fine about it, then there's no issue here at all. (And maybe try to explore ways of elevating yourself into a financial situation where the mere thought of a £20 cab home isn't prohibitive.) Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (21 June 2009):
Well sleeping in your pants next to someone else in their paints is a pretty intimate thing to do. What was wrong with her sofa or her floor?
Would you be happy with your fiancee if she had slept in her underwear with a guy in that situation?
Each couple is different. If you tell her the truth and talk about it then you should be ok.
Cheating is just a word. It's how you both feel about your actions and more importantly it's what you felt when you were doing it that matters.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2009): id be pissed but its not cheating.if you didnt have sex with her or kiss her then no you didnt cheat although why you didnt sleep on the sofa annoys me.you didnt look away because it was a women undressing right in front of you.its natural for you not to look away so dont feel guilty about that.its understandable for your fiance to be pissed off but you didnt cheat so dont worry however do not let things like this happen again as this can lead to cheating or making the women think you might have sex with her.
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