A
female
age
36-40,
*oops
writes:I have been in my degree about 2 months. I made a small group of friends, who seemed ok at the start, we went on a night out with the uni, i enjoyed their company, but slowly due to illness I had a few days off here and there, and they began to make plans without me. I accepted this, as if I wasnt there I couldnt be involved, but slowly they became quite nasty with some comments about me, and more and more began to seperate me from their things outside lessons, they went to lunch without me, daft things, so I would go to the library and sit on my own.As time has gone on this has got increasingly worse, accumulating in some rather fierce comments about me from one of them in particular recently. I have to attend placement with these people, and am in the same lecture and seminar groups as them, which means Im constantly in their company. Im slowly finding it harder and harder to go to university. I love my course, Im good at it, and I want it as a career, but the thought of facing them every day makes me want to crawl inside.I have had a lot of problems with self esteem recently anyway due to some medication I have been on changing my face shape, making me put on weight and giving me acne, and these people just intensify that, to the point where I have had to go and hide in a toilet upset on more than one occasion. I find myself waking up on a morning dreading the day ahead.Im 20 years old, but I feel like a kid when it comes to this. I have had many suggestions, just get my head down and get on with my work- which I have done, but I still feel very very isolated and unhappy as a result, make friends with other people, which I have also tried but most people have their own groups now and are unwilling to let anyone else in. Also take a year out, or quit and re-start somewhere else, but I quit a year after a previous degree subject did not work out for me, and dont want to do this again.I dont have many friends full stop, inside and outside of uni, I seem to make distanced aquaintances very easily but really struggle past that, most my friends I knew for years and years before becoming friends truly and as a result they have been long standing.I dont know what to do, its bringing me down badly, and I dont want it to start really affecting my degree, but I cant manage to just ignore it and get my head down.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, elliebellie +, writes (11 December 2007):
hiya!well first of all i think you might want one of these *virtual hug* :) feel better please. last year at school (which i know is very different to uni) i felt exactly the same as you. i wasnt at school for a bit and when i got back everyone had become distants from me and were making horrible comments to my face and behind my back. it was really horrible. i kind of sorted it out on my own really and i decided to go and start talking to differet people. at first i thought this is never going to work. i had just left the people i thought i had felt secure with and now im talking to people i hardly know. i kept on going though. making an effort even though i might have look stupid. now i have about 7 or 8 great friends who are really willing to do anything for me. i think a counsellor is a good person to talk to as well. they cant judge you and although their advice might sound like stuff you've heard before, it will be good advice that you should follow. anyway i hope this kind of helped you. good luckif there is anything else you want to talk about, then please feel free to mail me about anything at anytime.lolelliexxx
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