A
male
age
36-40,
*ixedpapi20002000
writes:This past Friday, my boyfriend and I had a stupid argument. It started over my feelings about money. I asked him to buy me something and he related to me that he wasn't sure if he would have enough to get it. I caught an attitude because of this and when asked what was the matter I kept saying "nothing" because I didn"t wanna stress it and just wanted it to pass. I told him that it only seems like he brought up not having enough money when it was conveinent. He was hurt by that and he related to me how could I think of such a thing when he just told me all the things he has to pay e.g. rent, bills, etc etc. I realized my mistake right after I mentioned it, but then he started hollering and getting angry and I started hollering and getting angry, we both retaliated and that just opened the gates... During the argument he said the way I acted was immature (which it was, I grew up a lil spoiled), I need to communicate a lil better, I made him feel like crap, and he thinks I'm not happy with him. Right after we were done arguing he left for work and called me so we could talk an hour later. I asked him if he still loved me, he said of course. I asked him if he wanted to take a break of break up, he said thats not what he wants, but that something has to give because he is tired of arguing over dumb stuff. He said we've been spending all our time with each other, which we have and I realize that its not healthy. I called him later that day, but he was at work and said he'd call me later that night...Saturday we didn't really talk... He was busy at work and was going out with his best friend later that night, but told me I could stop past tomorrow...Sunday, I went to his house to pick up a few things and to talk to him. He reiterated what he told me previously and told me that he feels like he needs space and time to gather his thoughts. He says he loves me, kissed and hugged me, and still called me "babe". I asked him should I not talk to him, he said no thats not what he wants. Before I left I made sure to let him know that I support and respect his decision for space, that I love him and that I'm happy with him. When I was about to leave he said asked for me to text him when he got home and call him later. I texted him when I got home, we talked through texts, but I felt he was being very short with me...Now its Moday, 9/1/2008... My main concern where I'm confused at is this... I see where I was wrong and I want to work on this situation. It's not the first time he's needed his space, I understand he needs his from time to time, but we've always bounced back and it seems like its always an argument that stirs things up. He said he needs time to think and I definately want to give him the time. What more can I do to show that I love him and need him? I know I'd change and be better if he gave me another chance. I really dont know what else to say or do... He said he still wants to talk to me, but should I continue to call him and text him or give him the space he wants? And if I give him the space he wants, how long should I wait until I talk to him? I'm so confused, the anxiety of the situation is what made me write out my feelings in this post. I just wish this was all a bad dream.
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a break, at work, best friend, immature, money, needs space, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, hannah76  +, writes (1 September 2008):
 Hi,
Just give him his space and wait for him to contact you. That's all you need to do. Plain and simple.Hannah
A
female
reader, baybeegurl_x +, writes (1 September 2008):
 first things first, you shouldn't change because you know he loves you! you realised what you said was a mistake, and you apoligised for it, what more could you do? the guy probably does just need his space, we all do from time to time iv realised that lately with my own boyfriend! and trust me it works, as you know because you say you've always bounced back and been happy with eachother again. so don't take this time for him needing space any differently, and every healthy relationship needs arguements it's a way to get our feelings out and let our boyfriends/gilrfriends know what we really are thinking! he's said he still wants to talk to you, and he was the one asking for you to text him, so of course he still wants to talk to you, you're in a relationship together if it was annoying him or he didn't want you to he would tell you!don't get stressed out about it, or get feeling anxious, things will sort themself out! x
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A
female
reader, Littlebitt +, writes (1 September 2008):
I think you should not call/text or anything till he figures out what he wants. for him to tell you to text/call him means he still has you by the leash. Let him figure out what he wants, in the mean time go out with your girlfriend sand do whatever. Don't let life pass you by waiting around on him. I know being raised spoiled means you got whatever you wanted. You need to control that urge to want people to buy you something. Its nots good. Because material thing are just material thing, and love is everlasting. So don't get swept up in the materialistic things.
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