A
male
age
30-35,
*ryanz
writes:Well.. for a start, I have a attraction to both genders. The only person who know's my sexuality is my girlfriend. I really want to tell my friends and family, but how can I? I live in a small town in the west side of British Columbia, Canada. Where I live gay's are not respected. But lesbian is fine. I don't understand the problem with being gay but its alright to be lesbian? My question is 3 things acually.. 1 How can I tell people I am homosexual? And should I tell people I am homosexual? And What is the big deal between lesbian and gay?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): And no, I am not throwing the Ice Tea at you. I am handing it to you. To make it more clear, I believe in flexibility and broader ideals rather than restrictiveness. I despise chains, bonds, cages and monotones. That's all.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): [sigh]
A little pull, a little push. I catch the darts with my mouth and eat them. Here's a glass of Ice Tea for you to call for a truce.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): I'll be the 1st to say sorry for throwing darts at you...I guess we're just 2 people with polar opposite, passionate views.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): Hello oh wise Mr. Martini. Glad your back.:) Since you're lacking any intelligent response to my non-sense, I will spar with you.
What you're basically saying is you have no control over your body if you admire a man. You can't keep it brotherly. I can feel your steam now.
About keeping it in context, how interesting you compare the human race to fruit. Lemons crossed with lemons= Lemons. Men crossed with Men =...nothing? If it's not a choice to be gay, then like-sexes should reproduce it's own.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): Ms. Anon: No. May I suggest a better come back? You're about a billion miles from making any sense, let alone any worthwhile 'opinion'.
[grins]
By the way, keep it within context. Being way out of context makes you look absolutely moronic at best. The frog example is quite, ummm, how should I say this? [ponders] Not quite right with this topic. It's like debating the calories of vanilla ice cream in a topic about federal taxes.
Right, well before I get the smack down from Andrew, I shall stop. My apologies fellow mods, sometimes some people really really really really really get on my nerves.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): Oh really Mr. Martini? Well your ignornance astounds me! If a horny toad were to come up to you and lick your ****, and your body resonded, does that make you a tri-sexual? Why do people let their **** decide what 'lifestyle' they are. Get your power back and make the choice yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): To Ms. Anon below me: Your ignorance and profound narrow mindedness astounds me. I almost want to stand up in both disgust and awe and applaud to your smallness of mind.
You never NEED to 'choose' between whether you're attracted to male or female. Being sexual is a preference born out of how we were created at the time of being inside of our mothers and NOT linear to black and white choices. It is a GRADIENT or a SHADE of tones.
If you like the colour orange, will you ONLY prescribe to the colour orange? Does that mean you dislike all other colours? If you like the taste of lemon, does that mean you ONLY like the taste of lemon?
Sexual preference is NOT a choice. It is a chemical mixture in your body that allows you to appreciate more than one particular 'colour' or 'taste'.
To OP: More often than not, trying to advertise that you're of another sexuality than the common sexuality in an unrealistic environment will yield bad results. There is a lot of ignorance in this world as you already can see that can lead to harm done to you. You even said where you live and how most people look down on sexuality other than 'the norm'.
Your sexuality is for yourself and no one else. Why do you want to tell anyone? So you can feel free and happy? "Free and happy" only happens in the places that broadly accepts this. Try Vancouver first, but even then, there has been hate crimes against 'other sexualities' in the past there. Try Amsterdam, France and even San Fran, but the USA in whole isn't very accepting either.
I'm not going to answer the last question as that is a pointless question that leads to no where.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): Be a man and choose! Your body is sexual, no matter who/what stimulates it. Do you really want to go through life in this confusion? I guess I'm a bigot for saying this, but you're not an animal that can't control his primal instincts, you are a Man. So choose.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009): I agree - if you are in a relationship with your girlfriend then what is the point of telling anyone? If you were single or had a boyfriend, then mine, but in your current situation it just seems odd. Sure I get that is the way you are but why the desire to shout it out?
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A
male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (16 February 2009):
 In reponse to questions 1 & 2: If you're in a relationship with your girlfriend I don't necessarily see the point in telling people, unless you feel it's an important part of your identity. I have no idea how you'd tell people, especially bigoted people, you won't get a great reception from people like that. Maybe you should just tell people you are close to, close friends and such.
3. I'm not sure what the difference is, it doesn't make much sense to hate gay men and have no problem with gay women, but then homophobia has never made much sense to me anyway. Prejudice and bigotry don't exactly stem from logic, it's unfortunate that you live in a place so full of assholes.
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A
male
reader, Tyewatson +, writes (16 February 2009):
 lol I live in BC too :D I haven't told many people I am Bisexual either. xD For guys its more of just for making out or just yeah but girls I am a bit more attracted to. Now your situation, it sounds harsh. Your bisexual if you like both genders. I would tell your mother first. Moms are a bit more understanding then dads. Talking to your father would be kinda awkward. People don't tell me anything but I do a lot of female stuff and some people notice it but they shrug it off. Telling people is kinda hard. haha i never tried it except some trusted friends. Usually girls. There is no big deal. Some people don't understand. If you love someone, no matter what the gender they are you are allowed to date them. If you like someone a lot and just want to date them, then date them! :)I hope I helped a bit.
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